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Fishmongers Jokes

Why do fishmongers keep all the profit for themselves?

Because they sel fish

Why are fishmongers never generous?

Because their business makes them sell-fish.

A man walks into a fishmongers...

...with a carp under his arm. He asks the man behind the counter "Do you sell fishcakes?" The fishmonger says "Why, yes we do". "Fantastic!" exclaims the man, pointing to the fish under his arm "It's his birthday!"

Why are fishmongers only thinking about themselves?

Cause they sell fish

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Jewish Fishmonger

So this man goes to his Jewish fishmonger and says, "All your neighbors praise your smartness and intellect. What's the secret?"

The fishmonger says that he eats 3 fish heads a day. He offers to to sell the man a fish head for 3 dollars. The man buys 3 fish heads.

Some weeks go by. Th...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Fish

A woman rushes into a fish shop at 4:45 on a Saturday evening and orders a pound of Cod.

The fishmonger says, “I’m sorry, we’ve sold out of cod.”

The woman says, “But I want a pound of Cod.!”

The fishmonger says, “I’m sorry, but we have sold right out of Cod.!”

The woman ...

Why did the prawn leave the night club early?

Because he pulled a muscle.


Saw this outside my local fishmongers.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A chicken walks into a library...

The librarian lifts their gaze with a mixture of curiosity and surprise as the bird hops onto the counter. It tilts its head and, with an air of demand, clucks:

"Book!"

The librarian is taken aback at this odd display. The chicken impatiently taps one foot on the counter.

"Book,...

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