Sculpt Jokes

I told him not to get a head of himself.

That'd be nice, wooden tit.

Fo' chisel.

Four chisel, my nizzle...

He believes that one day he'll be very important, so he asks a sculptor to carve his bust out of marble to put into a museum in the future.

The sculptor says, "Sir, I think you're getting a head of yourself."

Which is why every sculpture of his was a bust!

I'm getting a little head of myself

The question arises over the course of their debates: What separates man from the animals?

"Technology," says the German. "Other creatures have tools, yet none can match the hights of engineering we have accomplished. It is our industry that separates us from the beasts."

"I disagree,... read more

The British said: we dug very deep and found sculpted animal bones. This proves that my ancestors invented art.

The German said: we dug very deep and found a plate-size disk showing the solar system. This proves that my ancestors invented astronomy.

The Italian said: we dug very deep a... read more

..which is surprising since to me it looked like a piece of cake

There was a Navy SEAL living undercover in the depths of Eastern Russia where they regularly hold ice sculpting competitions. He had been there for a while and was longing to liven up his stay there so he decided to enter the next one. There was a shop in town that he could buy sculpting supplies fr... read more

There once was a sculptor who made beautiful pieces of work. His specialty was beautiful women. He'd toil away for hours on end, immortalizing the prettiest women in plaster and granite. But one day, he realized that his work was no longer in demand. Distraught, he called over his closest friend, an... read more

Two men are walking when they come across a beautiful bridge,

The first man exclaimed “Wow! This bridge is gorgeous!”

The seconds man says “this is my work! But nobody ever gives me the recognition I deserve. No body goes up to me and says “hey it’s that guy who built that beautiful br... read more

The scientists Watson and Crick take a break from their research and take a vacation on their friend's farm. On their first day there, Watson and Crick take a walk around the farm. First, they notice pigs oinking like crazy when they realize the truck that takes them to market has pulled up. Next, t... read more

It was a magnificent golden palace, with beautiful ornaments covering every surface as it towered over the surrounding landscape with its size. The steps leading up to the front entrance were crafted from the finest marble, the pillars holding up the ceiling sculpted with the rarest jade. It was tru... read more