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Carvings Jokes

Why are cat’s carvings expensive?

Because they start from scratch



I’m bad at this aren’t I

The bible says that, after Jesus was crucified, Joseph of Arimathea gave him his tomb to be buried in

What the bible does not mention is that Joseph's tomb was extremely fancy and expensive- marble carvings, wall paintings, the best 30AD had to offer.

Naturally, Joseph's friends were very surprised. "Joseph," they said, "Why did you give such a marvelous tomb to the poor son of a carpenter?"<...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you guys here about what was going on at Mount Rushmore before the carvings?

Man, that shit was unpresidented.

The Pacific island demigod Chee-sah...

The Pacific island demigod Chee-sah was always depicted in wooden carvings with nothing on from the waist down (except sandals), much to the distress of Christian missionaries who served there. Their urging of the locals to cover the statute’s lower half devolved into piteous begging as they tried t...

About me

My broken heart.

I think it's time I told everyone a little bit about me.

A big part of my life was I used to be a harpist.
I'm not going to brag, but I could play the harp brilliantly.

I worked in an orchestra and after a concert I met this amazing woman.
Now I absolut...

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The Voodoo sex toy

This man is going to go out of town for the weekend for a conference at his job. He's a good husband to his wife so he doesn't want her to be "alone" while he is away. One night after work, he goes to the adult store in his city. He goes in and looks around at all the sex toys but they all look t...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A frog goes into a bank to ask for a loan

as he walks up to the teller he sees her nameplate reads Patty Black. The frog asks for a loan of fifty thousand dollars to build a beautiful new home on prime real estate, a lily pad in the best part of the pond. The bank teller says that in order to secure a loan of that amount he would need somet...

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