What did the Tortoise say when she was dating the Sloth?

Let’s taake it sloooooow.

Ever heard the one about the sloth crossing the road?

Ah never mind, it'd take too long.

That poor sloth

A sloth got robbed by three turtles.

When the cops showed up to help him they asked, “what did the turtles look like?”

The sloth said, “I don’t know, it all happened so fast!”

What did the sloth say when he was mugged by a bunch of snails ?

"it all happened so fast!"

How did the sloth become President of the tree?

He slept his way to the top.

My daughter made this tonight: What's the favourite song of sloths?

Don't Hurry, Be Happy

What do you call an intelligent sloth?

Slo-mo sapiens

Knock knock.

Who's there?

The interrupting sloth.

The interrupting sloth who?





















Ahhhhhh!

If Sloth discovered the gold in the Goonies.

He would have shouted 'AU guys!'

I watched a gif of a sloth for 5 minutes yesterday

Until I realized it was just an image

Why are sloths so good at giving handjobs?

They aren't in a hurry.

An Internet Explorer user was recently mugged by a snail, a turtle, and a sloth.

When reporters asked him if he could describe the muggers, he responded, "Not very well. It all happened so fast."

What do you call a slow sloth?

a sloth.



My son told me this joke when was 8. We was just sitting in the room watching Zootopia and he says to me, he says "Hey dad want to a hear a joke?" so I says back "sure" and then he said the joke. I was so taken about by the simplicity of it, that I damn near died laughing. (f...

A sloth walks into a bar

Well actually, I got ahead of myself, it’s still walking there...

This is taking longer than I expected...

Never mind, I’ll finish the joke when the sloth finally gets here.

what do sloths and depressed people have in common?

they both like to hang from trees

[OC] So a Sloth goes to tell a joke and says...

“Knock...”

A sloth is going about his day when he gets attacked by a gang of snails

A sloth is going about his day when he gets attacked by a gang of snails.

The snails take his wallet and leave. The sloth regains his composure and goes straight to the police station.

The police officer says, "can you describe the gang for us?"

The sloth says, "I don't know. ...

I told my girlfriend I got gonorrhea from bestiality. She laughed and left me the same way as that sloth.

With a slow clap.

What does a sloth do when the forest is on fire?

Burn as well.



(Translated from Czech)

A sloth goes to a bar to get drunk.

After a long time and a lot of drinks the bartender asks the sloth why he is there.






The sloth replies, "I'm depressed, my wife is leaving me. I bet she's already halfway through the kitchen."

A sloth named Herman is walking through the forest one day.

A gang of snails approach him and beat him up. Herman is left at the bottom of a tree with several cuts and bruises. Several hours later he gathers up enough strength to go to a local police station. Herman walks into the Sergeant's office.

"What happened to you? the officer asks.
"A gang ...

Why did the sloths vote to keep the coal mines open?

Because when it comes to energy they're conservative.

What are ‘pride, greed, lust, envy, gluttony, wrath and sloth’ commonly known as?

The Bill of Rights

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

pa system: attention shoppers, the store will be closing in five hours

**sloth:** oh shit oh shit

I was walking home today and I saw this naked koala.

And I thought to myself, "now, I know all koalas are technically naked (except, like, certain cartoon koalas or koalas that work birthday parties) but this koala just has this air about him that said 'I used to have clothes, but now I don't.'" And I felt pretty bad for the little guy, maybe somethin...

They say I have a body built for Sin

That sin being Sloth.

not many people know the friends characters represent all seven deadly sins

**Phoebe:**

**Joey:**

**Chandler:**

**Monica:**

**The monkey:**

**Rachel:**

**Ross:** pride, greed, lust, envy, gluttony, wrath, and sloth.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It's a busy day in Heaven....

So God figures he will let in the 3 next most pathetic deaths, and close up for the day. God asks the first guy "how did you die"?

Guy 1: Well, a co-worker told me my wife was cheating on me, so I left work early to catch her in the act. I got home to my 10th floor condo, burst through the do...

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