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Seagull Jokes

Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels

[my little girl’s favourite-ever joke]

Why do you never see a flock of seagulls in the middle east?

Because Iran’s so far away

Did you know the seagull was gods third attempt at creating the bird...

The A-gull and B-gull weren't quite right.

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This is the worst joke I know. "A mad scientist is developing an immortality serum..."

"...and so far it works perfectly in cell culture, in worms, in mice and rats, and in racoons. Next step is testing it in dolphins. As she's reaching for the syringes for her test subjects, she notices that she's run out of serum and has to prepare a new batch. The primary ingredient is a chemi...

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I have a friend who does the best ever seagull impression.

He can’t do the noise, he just nicks your chips and shits on your car.

If birds that fly over the sea are called seagulls, what do you call birds that fly over the Keys?

Kegels.

My 3yo: lets go to the beach and eat seagulls

Me: What?!?
Son: lets eat bagels by the sea

What is a Seagull's favorite condiment?

Grey Poupon

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A pirate walked into a bar.

He had a wooden leg, an eye patch and a hook for a hand. The bartender was curious. "How did you get that wooden leg?" he asked.

The pirate took a swig of ale. "'Twas a terrible sea battle. I stood bravely, directly facing 12 cannons.All they managed to hit was my leg."

The bartender s...

A trainer at SeaWorld was in charge of keeping the dolphins healthy.

He would feed them, give them medical attention, make sure they were in good spirits. But he knew that the dolphins eventually were going to die. Well, he couldn't have that. After researching for days to no avail, he found an article written by a disgraced marine biologist about how dolphins could ...

The Seagull and The Octopus

There once was a seagull with sore feet. He had been perching on a seaside railing all day and was starting to get blisters. He had tried going swimming, but the salt water seemed to irritate them and make them worse. He had tried flying, but he soon got so tired that he had to stop. He was in agony...

They say it's good luck for a seagull to poo on you.

It is, for the seagull, obviously, not for you. Duh.

I was on a beach once, roasting a seagull over a small fire

I heard footsteps on the rocks, and looked up to see a Conservation Officer approaching.

"Hey there, bud, whatcha cookin' there?"

I turned the bird slowly on its stick, then looked at the pile of feathers. "Western Gull, I think."

The officer widened his eyes, "Oh, ya can't be e...

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NSFW Did you know seagulls die after sex

Well the one I just fucked did

A pigeon flies out of a coffeeshop and hits a seagull

Two birds, one stoned

Seagull joke

Q: What do you call a seagull that knows martial arts?

A: Steven Seagull

I saw a flock of seagulls today

And I ran

I saw a really big seagull today

It was easily big enough to be a D gull, but not quite big enough to be an eagle.

In the early 1970s, researchers discovered that a certain enzyme in a specific breed of seagull chicks granted dolphins that ate them a dramatically increased lifespan…

Hoping that this could be made viable for humans, they started extensive testing.

Unfortunately, the breed of gulls wasn't native to the area around their laboratory.

They sent a research assistant up the coast to gather additional specimens.

On his way back with a truckload o...

What do you call a man with a seagull on his head?

Cliff.

Why do seagulls live by the sea?

Because if the lived by the bay, they would be bagels.



My very quiet intern brought this in when I asked her to find a joke a day to share. She couldn't finish telling it without cracking up.

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Seagull poop (longish)

{From my childhood - no idea who to credit}



A man is sitting at the bar alone when suddenly, in walks a pirate.

The whole place goes quiet as the pirate walks to the counter.

He orders a drink and noticed the man is staring at him, eyes wide.

The pirate says, "Wha...

A man was walking through a park

He stopped by a flock of seagulls sitting on the grass verge next to a pond trying to snap up some worms from the mud. One of the seagulls drops a worm and shouts "oh for god sake".

The man is intrigued that it can talk so he goes and asks it where it's from. "I'm from around London but I tr...

Why did the oil covered seagull get sued?

There can only be one goo gull

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As I was sitting at a lake I saw a seagull land next to me

...and I said, “don’t worry little fella, I wont say shit.”

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What's the difference between a seagull and a baby?

The seagull flits along the shore, the baby shits along the floor.

Rudolph the Red-nosed reindeer died today over Barcelona. He was struck by a flock of seagulls and a 747.

Eyewitnesses say the reindeer in Spain was hit mainly by the plane.

Did you know the 80's pop band "A Flock of Seagulls" is gaining alot of attention in the middle east? They're getting really popular in Pakistan, Afghanistan

And Iran, I ran so far away!

A Geography Lesson from Flock of Seagulls

Y'see, kids, Canada is to the north of the US, and Mexico's to the south, *and Iran, Iran's so far away*.

The band A Flock of Seagulls is not concerned with WWIII. They've stated that conflicts typically happen with neighboring countries.

And Iraaaaan...Iran's so far awaaaay....

Joke from my 7yr old son - If a bird that flies over the sea is a seagull, what is...

... a bird that flies over the bay?

A BAGEL!

Ba dum, tsss

The eaglets were preparing to leave the nest and fly out into the world when their grandfather happened by.

He perched on the side of the nest to wish them well.

The eaglets asked what grandfather liked to eat most. "That'd have to be salmon, or maybe trout. Oh, one day soon you'll find out!"

A granddaughter asked, "What do you usually eat?"

"Rabbits are always good, and squirrels, y...

What do you call it when a seagull wants to do something by the end of the day in the water?

Sea goal

What do you call a seagull that lives by the Bay?

I don't know, but it won't shut up about the app it's developing.

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Where do seagulls live?

Shit, wrong subreddit.

What's the difference between a seagull and a pelican?

You can't sea a pelican.





Note: I'm actually on laughing gas rn btw.

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TIL seagulls are not the only birds to poop in-flight

I just read about the great Foo birds of Bolivia. If they hit you, it is considered bad luck to remove the feces until it dries. Roughly translated, the custom is "If the Foo shits, wear it".

A flock of seagulls, a herd of sheep, a murder of crows...

An Insurrection of Republicans

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