UPJOKE
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Toucan Jokes

Why did the toucan stop using his phone?

He got a large bill

How many beers can a tropical bird drink?

Toucans

How many toucan can live in a tin can?

Toucan

One bird can't finish an entire bowl of Fruit Loops...

...but Toucan.

Why do toucans dance in pairs?

Because two toucans can can-can better than one toucan can.

No single bird can defeat me.

But Toucan.

I once sold my toucan to a power plant.

I once sold my toucan (ya know, the type of tropical bird), whose name was Drea, to a power plant. I was told he'd simply be entertainment for the workers, sort of like a pet. Eventually, however, our local PETA caught wind of this and intervened. Drea was sent to a nearby bird shelter, where my ...

If I had a drop of beer for every time I made a bird pun..

I'd have toucans.

Why did the toucan go to prison?

He was puffin the herb.

Two birds are trying to screw a lightbulb in

One bird goes to the other “How many birds does it take to screw in a lightbulb?”
The other bird replies, “Well I’m pretty sure Toucan”.

Did you hear about the bird collector who didn't buy enough soda for his party?

His guests were disappointed that he only had Toucans

What do you call a pair of Toucans?

A fourcan

Never try to annoy someone with bird puns.

Because toucan play that game.

A group of explorers, along with a dog, are exploring the Amazon when the dog gets separated from the group.

While the dog is looking for the group, a jaguar sees the dog.

"I've never seen an animal like that before!" says the jaguar. "He looks tasty!"

The jaguar runs towards the dog, but the dog thinks quickly. Just as the jaguar is about to nab the dog, the dog says, "That jaguar I had ear...

How many people do you need to pet a bird that's on a high tree?

Not one, but toucan!

How many birds does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Toucan!

One exotic bird can’t take over the word on its own

But toucan

Fruit Loops is putting marshmallows in their cereal like Lucky Charms

I guess Toucan play that game

What did the tropical bird say when he was asked to help operate an industrial machine?

"Don't worry, one bird usually can't operate this machine on his own.

But toucan."

Have you read the nutritional information on a box of Fruit Loops?

You're better off eating the toucan.

What did fruit loops say when launching their product to compete with cheerios?

Toucan play at that game

What’s the difference between one parrot and two?

One parrot can’t carry a coconut, but toucan

A son says to his dad, "Hey I'm going to get a soda, you need anything?". The dad says, "Yeah get me a beer. Actually, make it two cans.". The son goes into the kitchen and is gone for about an hour and a half. The door opens and he asks his son, "What the hell took so long?".

The son walks in and says, "Well it wasn't easy. I had to go to like three pet stores before I found one that sold toucans."

I was at the zoo recently...

...and one of the tropical birds just kept screaming at me, so I screamed back. Toucan play at that game!

How much soda do you have to drink before it tastes like birds?

Toucans

My girlfriend keeps trying to hurt my feelings by calling me names of exotic birds...

Well, toucan play it that game.

Dipping your beaks into different coloured paints, eh?

Well, toucans play at that game.

What did the jungle bird say to his friend after being betrayed?

"Toucan play this game..."

Sorry guys, this literally just came to my imagination, like I could nearly see it in my mind. It may not be that funny, but hey I just thought of it.

Not everyone is able to fly...

but every toucan.

My friend announced that he had invented a sport exclusively for animals with large, colourful beaks

I responded, “toucan play that game!”

The vet seemed to have no idea why my two pet birds were stuck together.

He said it was toucan fusing.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

When is a bird in the hand worth two in the bush?

When one cock can't satisfy, but toucan.

The Chomp Bird

A man wants to get his wife a unique gift, so he goes to an exotic pet store, and asks the owner, "What's the rarest thing you have in here?" After showing him large snakes, colorful lizards, and strange rodents, the man still seems unimpressed. "Got anything rarer than these?" The man asked.
...

Jungle animals started a softball league...

The teams are separated by species.

A colorful long beaked bird, not sure where to go, asked an old monkey umpire, where his team was playing.

He replied, "Mongoose vs snakes are on field 1, ants vs frogs play on field 2..."

"Quit monkeying around", the bird chuckled, "I just wa...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My wife says if I don’t stop making bird puns she is going to withhold sex...

...but she can keep her tits to herself. Eventually she will want my cock and she’ll find that toucan play that game.

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