Why did the toucan stop using his phone?

He got a large bill

I once sold my toucan to a power plant.

I once sold my toucan (ya know, the type of tropical bird), whose name was Drea, to a power plant. I was told he'd simply be entertainment for the workers, sort of like a pet. Eventually, however, our local PETA caught wind of this and intervened. Drea was sent to a nearby bird shelter, where my ...

How many toucan can live in a tin can?

Toucan

Can one bird screw in a lightbulb?

No, but toucan!

What’s the difference between one parrot and two?

One parrot can’t carry a coconut, but toucan

When I was a kid, my dad and I went to the zoo to see the birds.

I loved birds as a kid, and really wanted one as a pet. I would spend hours looking through picture books about birds, studying their plumage, learning all that I could. So when the day came that my dad took me to the zoo to see the bird enclosure, I was really excited.

I had read about the...

How much soda do you have to drink before it tastes like birds?

Toucans

Why did the toucan go to prison?

He was puffin the herb.

I was throwing oranges at tropical birds.

One of them caught one then said: “Toucan play that game”

How many tropical birds does it take to change a light bulb?

Well if one can't, toucan

A group of explorers, along with a dog, are exploring the Amazon when the dog gets separated from the group.

While the dog is looking for the group, a jaguar sees the dog.

"I've never seen an animal like that before!" says the jaguar. "He looks tasty!"

The jaguar runs towards the dog, but the dog thinks quickly. Just as the jaguar is about to nab the dog, the dog says, "That jaguar I had ear...

My friend keeps sending me bird puns

He doesn't realise toucan play that game

How many people do you need to pet a bird that's on a high tree?

Not one, but toucan!

If I had a drop of beer for every time I made a bird pun..

I'd have toucans.

A son says to his dad, "Hey I'm going to get a soda, you need anything?". The dad says, "Yeah get me a beer. Actually, make it two cans.". The son goes into the kitchen and is gone for about an hour and a half. The door opens and he asks his son, "What the hell took so long?".

The son walks in and says, "Well it wasn't easy. I had to go to like three pet stores before I found one that sold toucans."

The vet seemed to have no idea why my two pet birds were stuck together.

He said it was toucan fusing.

Jungle animals started a softball league...

The teams are separated by species.

A colorful long beaked bird, not sure where to go, asked an old monkey umpire, where his team was playing.

He replied, "Mongoose vs snakes are on field 1, ants vs frogs play on field 2..."

"Quit monkeying around", the bird chuckled, "I just wa...

Dipping your beaks into different coloured paints, eh?

Well, toucans play at that game.

What does an energy drink and tropical bird have in common?

It takes more than toucans to wake me up.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

When is a bird in the hand worth two in the bush?

When one cock can't satisfy, but toucan.

My girlfriend keeps trying to hurt my feelings by calling me names of exotic birds...

Well, toucan play it that game.

What did the jungle bird say to his friend after being betrayed?

"Toucan play this game..."

Sorry guys, this literally just came to my imagination, like I could nearly see it in my mind. It may not be that funny, but hey I just thought of it.

What did fruit loops say when launching their product to compete with cheerios?

Toucan play at that game

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My wife says if I don’t stop making bird puns she is going to withhold sex...

...but she can keep her tits to herself. Eventually she will want my cock and she’ll find that toucan play that game.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Meanwhile, in a different part of the Jingle....

...a lizard is walking along when he smells marijuana smoke. Having a good sense of smell, and not a stranger to the occasional toke, he follows it to the source and comes to the base of a truly mighty tree. High up in the branches is a monkey smoking a joint.

"Hey monkey" he yells.

T...

Not everyone is able to fly...

but every toucan.

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