UPJOKE
birdflamingomockingbirdparrotflightless birdbeakwoodpeckerlizardpheasantpuffinstorkstarlingornithologistcootbirdman

Why did the toucan stop using his phone?

He got a large bill

How many toucan can live in a tin can?

Toucan

How many beers can a tropical bird drink?

Toucans

Why did the toucan go to prison?

He was puffin the herb.

What did the tropical bird say when the monkey stole his fruit?

Toucan play at that game.

No one bird can eat a bowl of fruit loops...

But toucan!

(First post here, hope you like it.)

Why do toucans dance in pairs?

Because two toucans can can-can better than one toucan can.

What do you call a pair of Toucans?

A fourcan

Have you read the nutritional information on a box of Fruit Loops?

You're better off eating the toucan.

The Chomp Bird

A man wants to get his wife a unique gift, so he goes to an exotic pet store, and asks the owner, "What's the rarest thing you have in here?" After showing him large snakes, colorful lizards, and strange rodents, the man still seems unimpressed. "Got anything rarer than these?" The man asked.
...

Do you think you know more parrot jokes than me?

Toucan play that game.

I once sold my toucan to a power plant.

I once sold my toucan (ya know, the type of tropical bird), whose name was Drea, to a power plant. I was told he'd simply be entertainment for the workers, sort of like a pet. Eventually, however, our local PETA caught wind of this and intervened. Drea was sent to a nearby bird shelter, where my ...

How many birds does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Toucan!

Did you hear about the bird collector who didn't buy enough soda for his party?

His guests were disappointed that he only had Toucans

Fruit Loops is putting marshmallows in their cereal like Lucky Charms

I guess Toucan play that game

If I had a drop of beer for every time I made a bird pun..

I'd have toucans.

A son says to his dad, "Hey I'm going to get a soda, you need anything?". The dad says, "Yeah get me a beer. Actually, make it two cans.". The son goes into the kitchen and is gone for about an hour and a half. The door opens and he asks his son, "What the hell took so long?".

The son walks in and says, "Well it wasn't easy. I had to go to like three pet stores before I found one that sold toucans."

I was at the zoo recently...

...and one of the tropical birds just kept screaming at me, so I screamed back. Toucan play at that game!

My friend keeps sending me bird puns

He doesn't realise toucan play that game

How much soda do you have to drink before it tastes like birds?

Toucans

You ever notice all the feathers left after a game of chess?

It's like only Toucan play at a time.

What’s the difference between one parrot and two?

One parrot can’t carry a coconut, but toucan

My friend announced that he had invented a sport exclusively for animals with large, colourful beaks

I responded, “toucan play that game!”

A group of explorers, along with a dog, are exploring the Amazon when the dog gets separated from the group.

While the dog is looking for the group, a jaguar sees the dog.

"I've never seen an animal like that before!" says the jaguar. "He looks tasty!"

The jaguar runs towards the dog, but the dog thinks quickly. Just as the jaguar is about to nab the dog, the dog says, "That jaguar I had ear...

How many people do you need to pet a bird that's on a high tree?

Not one, but toucan!

My girlfriend keeps trying to hurt my feelings by calling me names of exotic birds...

Well, toucan play it that game.

What did the jungle bird say to his friend after being betrayed?

"Toucan play this game..."

Sorry guys, this literally just came to my imagination, like I could nearly see it in my mind. It may not be that funny, but hey I just thought of it.

Jungle animals started a softball league...

The teams are separated by species.

A colorful long beaked bird, not sure where to go, asked an old monkey umpire, where his team was playing.

He replied, "Mongoose vs snakes are on field 1, ants vs frogs play on field 2..."

"Quit monkeying around", the bird chuckled, "I just wa...

Dipping your beaks into different coloured paints, eh?

Well, toucans play at that game.

The vet seemed to have no idea why my two pet birds were stuck together.

He said it was toucan fusing.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

When is a bird in the hand worth two in the bush?

When one cock can't satisfy, but toucan.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Meanwhile, in a different part of the Jingle....

...a lizard is walking along when he smells marijuana smoke. Having a good sense of smell, and not a stranger to the occasional toke, he follows it to the source and comes to the base of a truly mighty tree. High up in the branches is a monkey smoking a joint.

"Hey monkey" he yells.

T...

Not everyone is able to fly...

but every toucan.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My wife says if I don’t stop making bird puns she is going to withhold sex...

...but she can keep her tits to herself. Eventually she will want my cock and she’ll find that toucan play that game.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.