Evidently, I snore loudly

It scares everyone in the car I'm driving

Evidently, I have “boundary issues”

according to my neighbors journal.

A lost dog strays into a jungle. A lion sees this from a distance and says with caution "this guy looks edible, never seen his kind before".

So the lion starts rushing towards the dog with menace. The dog notices and starts to panic but as he's about to run he sees some bones next to him and gets an idea and says loudly "mmm...that was some good lion meat!".

The lion abruptly stops and says " woah! This guy seems tougher then he ...

My mom always said that I have a rare talent

She meant that in my case, a talent is rarely evident

How does an uncreative redditor get karma... Piece of Cake

Or a repost, evidently

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

German Naval Captain got transferred to a U-Boat

His crew (all English defectors), did not like his German methods of leadership. After a few days of laying down new rules, enforcing them strictly, and allowing the crewmen barely a minute off, he saw several derogatory posters about him taped around the craft. Calling for his first officer, he sai...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three men go to hell and they’re pissed

“Surely we weren’t that bad?” they ask themselves. “There has to be something we can do to get out of here.”

Satan suddenly appears and says “Oh, but there is! Withstand ten whippings from my trusty whip here and you’re free to go. I’ll even let you pick something to cover your back with”
...

Every lunch hour Barry picked up a can of dog food at the deli,

went across the street to a park bench, and ate the whole can with evident gusto. A doctor who happened to pass through the park regularly couldn't help noticing Barry's behavior and finally couldn't resist offer. ing some advice. "I'm an internist," he explained, "and I think you should know tha...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Best Come Back Line Ever.'

Police work must be entertaining as well as dangerous .

In summary, the police arrested Patrick Lawrence, 22 year old white male, in a pumpkin patch 12.01 a.m. on Friday.

On Monday, at the Gwinnett County (GA) courthouse, Lawrence was charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public i...

The Lone Ranger and Tonto

The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert. After they got their tent all set up, both men fell sound asleep. Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says, "Kemo Sabe, look towards the sky; what do you see?"

The Lone Ranger replies, "I see millions of stars."

"What'...

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