An engineer dies and goes to hell

An engineer dies and goes to Hell. He's hot and miserable, so he decides to take action. The A/C has been busted for a long time, so he fixes it. Things cool down quickly. The moving walkway motor is jammed, so he unjams it. People can get from place to place more easily. The TV was grainy and uncle...

"You can be whoever you want to be!"

Instructions unclear. Currently serving time for identity theft.

Suicide stop

Back on June 9th, a group of HELLS ANGELS, South Carolina bikers were riding east on 378 when they saw a girl about to jump off the Pee Dee River Bridge. So they stopped.
George, their leader, a big burly man of 53, gets off his Harley, walks through a group of gawkers, past the State Trooper who...

Instructions unclear

The first time I tried to bake a cake I followed the instructions to the letter, but it was a disaster — I almost burned the house down. The fireman told me that when it said to grease the bottom of the pan they really meant the inside of the pan.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a person who is being very unclear about their eating habits?

A vagueatarian

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Farmer

A farmer was worried that none of his pigs were getting pregnant. He called a vet and asked what he should do if he wanted more pigs. The vet told him he should try artificial insemination. The farmer, not wanting to appear stupid, answered okay and hung up the phone. Unclear on what the vet meant b...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A male band member’s manager learns that a local tabloid is looking for something scandalous to write a story about.

Trying to get ahead of whatever is coming, they go ahead and write out a list of rules for their client to follow to try and avoid catching the press’s attention. They emailed the list to the celebrity and told them to follow the instructions very closely.

A few days later, one of the manage...

What is a dyslexic person's preferred alternative energy source?

It's unclear

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Obscure blood tests

The man called the doctor to ask if the test results for his wife had returned.

- Yes, they have, but the test answers are a little unclear, the doctor said. Either she has AIDS or she has Alzheimer's.

- Okay, how can we clarify this further?

- Run her a few miles out into the w...

All it takes is a mixup in the UN...

and unclear quickly becomes nuclear.

A truck full of wigs tipped over on a motorway today.

The cause is unclear but the police are still combing the area..

If IKEA sold condoms..

Instructions unclear: accidentally made baby

Why is packing tape better than regular tape?

Well.. it's unclear

Ban weapons of mass dyslexia!

Before they start an unclear war.

Mad-Dog’s Lady

A rough pack of tough bikers were out for a scoot in the hill country in central Texas. Pulling into Austin, they saw a beautiful girl about to jump off Pennybaker bridge. Mad-Dog, their leader, gave the hand signal to pull up. Mad-dog, a big burly man with skin like leather, a handle bar mustache,...

I was watching the Dyslexic news channel earlier.

Apparently North Korea are making unclear threats to the US.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

LA police are hunting for a man after 12 people were stabbed in the ass...

LA police are hunting for a man after 12 people were stabbed in the ass with a knitting needle tonight.

The motive is unclear, but they believe the attacker is following some kind of pattern...

The Mexican drug lord El Chapo has been extradited to the United States...

It's still unclear which cabinet post he'll be appointed to.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I finally figured out why god made women so confusing to men...

> Instructions unclear, dick stuck in woman.

Working as intended.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Talk to the Deacon...

Time for more awful jokes everyone's favourite billion-member strong religious institution; the Catholic Church!
----------------------------------------------------------------

A large middle-aged man walks into a Catholic church. Clearly in a unclear state of mind, he shakily pulls himse...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

NBC President Flies Into Rage After Network Fails to Produce Industry Minimum Ten Cop Shows‏

NEW YORK - During a staff meeting this week, NBC President of Entertainment Robert Greenblatt erupted into a profanity-laced tirade when he was informed that the network's new season of prime-time dramas and comedies failed to meet The Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers (AMPTP) requ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The KKK, Black Lives Matter And Westboro Baptist Church Throw Urine At Each Other Outside RNC.

Reports are still unclear as to what pissed them all off.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.