My wife says I can't pronounce Frederick properly.
**DOCTOR:** What? Can you say it again?
**DOCTOR:** Your pronunciation is perfect, tell your wife that you don't have any problem with that.
**MY WIFE:** What did the doctor said?
**ME:** The doctor said that there is nothing wrong with my pronunciation ...
I heard they were going to put Frederick Douglass on the Fifty.
But they were worried it would only be worth $30.
Frederick W. Smith created a company because he needed money to pay maintenance to his ex wife.
He called it Fed*Ex*.
A Lufthansa pilot...
...landed his AirBus A320 at London's Heathrow Airport. An operations manager saw him deplaning and asked him if he had any trouble landing the plane since it was a bit windy.
"Nein," the pilot answered, "I let Otto land the plane."
"Otto? Is that your co-pilot?"
"Nein, my co-p...
A pastor and and an airline pilot meet St Nick at the Gates to Heaven. The airline pilot is first to approach the saint
Peter: Name and profession please
Pilot: John Williams, Ryanair pilot.
Peter: *riffles through a massive book* John Williams...John Williams... umm... ah yes!
Peter: clicks his fingers and a beautiful silk robe and ornate golden staff appear out of thin air.
Fredrick the train conductor
Frederick, a train conductor, was driving his train when he thought browsing Reddit at the controls was a good idea. The train suffered a terrible crash and only those in the front of the train survived. Frederick was put on trial for the negligent homicide of nearly a hundred people. He was found g...
4th of July Alcohol puns: American Heroes edition.
So this all started with Abraham Drinkin.
Help us come up with more. It has to be a character from American History to celebrate today as well as some sort of alcohol theme.
Here's what we have so far (some are better than others) :
John Wilkes Booze ...
Little Timmy always procrastinated his schoolwork
A few weeks ago, his teacher assigned the class to write a 10,000 word paper on a great philosopher, but with just 12 hours until the paper was due, Little Timmy had not written a single word. Realizing his predicament, Little Timmy hastily took a pencil out of his drawer and sat down in front of bl...