UPJOKE
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I think Saturn's name is the best in our solar system

It has a nice ring to it

Why are solar panels so trustworthy?

They don't work in the shadows.

Why don’t aliens visit our Solar System?

They read the reviews – just one star.

Did you know that every planet in our solar system is named after a god?

Except Earth...which is named after all that stuff on the ground.

Why are solar panels always optimistic?

They always keep their sunny side up.

Dad, can you tell me what a solar eclipse is?

No son

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Uranus is the coldest place in the solar system

So it’s safe to say the sun don’t shine there.

A solar panel and a wind turbine are taking about music

Wind turbine: So what are you into?

Solar panel: Whatevers hot, but usually I prefer light stuff, how about you?

Wind turbine: I'm a huge metal fan

As part of its commitment to environmentalism...

Texas is committing to executing people via electric chairs powered only by wind turbines and solar panels.

Scientists are working on new solar energy panels.

They want a material that absorbs and releases the most radiating heat. The consensus is car seats.

What’s the solar system’s favorite type of egg scramble?

Sunny-Side up…

I couldn’t resist

I've finally saved up enough for solar panels.

What's holding me back is that I can't afford a house.

A solar panel, a wind turbine and a hydro dam are all getting to know each other.

‘What kind of music are you into?’ asks the dam.
‘I’m into trance’, replies the solar panel.
‘Ooh, too intense for me’, dam says, ‘I much prefer classical melodies, maybe a little 60s soul at the weekends.’
‘What about you Mr Turbine? What are you into?’
‘Me?’ He replies, ‘I’m a huge met...

"Dad, can you tell me what a solar eclipse is?"

No sun.

Solar Panels.

Do you have solar panels on your home yet? I just had some put on. But I’m not sure if I’ll keep them.

The other day I was in my house and the computer and lights are flickering. So I did, what you would do, I went outside to check my new solar cells. I get get outside and look up at the roof...

What did a solar powered bulb say to the Sun on cloudy day?

Notice me Senlight

I saw God write a review about our solar system a while ago

he didn’t explain why he gave it a one star tho

CEO of Tesla invented solar-energy gathering grass!

I love the stuff, I filled my entire yard with it. My only complaint is the weird smell. Has a real e-lawn musk to it.

Why did the tree install solar panels?

It wanted to be a power plant.

Solar radiation has turned the American flags on the moon pure white...

...so now it looks like France landed there.

August 20, 2020: Scientists have discovered a "mystery object" in space. The object is equal to 2.6 solar masses.

March 1, 2021: (Update) Scientists have determined that the “mystery object” is made up of unmatched socks.

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A woman visited an Amazonian tribe on a research trip...

She spent several days taking notes on the lifestyle and habits of the tribe and interviewing their ruler, King Paolo, via an interpreter. As the tribe's land was near several rich gold mines, the king and his people were extremely wealthy.

During the woman's time with him, the king fell hope...

What do you call a solar powered keyboard?

A photosynthesiser

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What would be the first thing communists do if they ruled the solar system?

Rename Uranus to Ouranus

Is it a solar or lunar eclipse where the sun passes in front of the moon?

Neither. That would be the apoca-clipse.

My neighbor told me he was getting solar panels.

Well, he's got my respect. What a power move.

There’s a contest going around and if you win 1st place you get a whole solar system named after you

Second place is just a constellation prize

Why didn't the astronaut go on holiday to the binary solar system?

It was two sunny.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If you shrunk the solar system down so that the sun was at the top of your head and the orbit of Pluto was at your feet,

Uranus would be right about where you'd expect it to be.

A solar panel is talking to a wind turbine...

The solar panel says, "So what do you think about this whole renewable energy thing?"
The turbine replies, "I'm a big fan."

A boy asks his dad to explain the solar eclipse,

His father replies,

‘No son’.

I have a solar fetish.

It makes me hot.

What's the difference between cellular mitochondria and a home's rooftop solar array?

One is the powerhouse of the cell. The other is the power cell of the house.

I asked my German friend how many planets in our Solar System

Surprisingly he said "Nine"

Aliens refuse to visit Earth because they've looked up our solar system...

and it has a 1-star rating.

Here is a dumb joke that might have been said.

A son asked his father what a solar eclipse was his father said no sun.

Why are most solar systems bad business partners?

Most are rated one star and even the best only have three.

What is the best college to apply to learn about solar radiation?

U.V. Ray

Thankfully, someone created an online resource for everyone who suffered retinal damage watching the solar eclipse.

It truly is a site for sore eyes.

What's the difference between solar energy and nuclear energy?

What's the difference between solar energy and nuclear energy?

The distance

How does a solar system throw a party?

They planet.

A windmill and a solar panel are talking during a storm...

Windmill "Awesome weather we are having!"
Solar panel "I am not a fan."
Added thanks to /r/ChiisaiMurasaki: The nuclear powerplant overhears them feels left out, so he has a meltdown. What an over reactor!

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Saturn and Neptune are the butt cheeks of the solar system

Uranus is between them

All my friends keep going on and on about the benefits of solar energy, but honestly.....

I’m more of a fan of wind.

Ganymede left Jupiter and flew out of the solar system last week

I saw it today in the orbituaries.

I think our solar system is highly underrated ...

... Seriously, just one star? Duh.

The Nasa Parker Solar probe will be 4 million miles away from the sun

Due to the high temperatures it will have to operate at night.

How does our solar system keep its pants up?

With an asteriod belt.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why haven't aliens visited our solar system yet? (Please read post)

Because this god damn joke is reposted every fucking hour.

Why don't we have any alien visitors in our solar system?

I googled it and found the reason...

It's rated only '1 star' out there.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

That solar eclipse was so dark...

The LAPD beat the shit out of it for being on the wrong side of town.

I locked my car doors when it passed by.

It had its own hashtag for mattering.

Okay r/jokes, take it from here. That solar eclipse was so dark...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My boyfriend asked me how many planets are in our solar system.

And I said. "Eight"
And he said, "Nope, only 7, after I destroy Uranus tonight."

I've invented a solar-powered still!

It turns sunshine into moonshine.

Credit: Quirk.

Babe, you can call me Solar Radiation.

Because I'm about to get caught up in your ozone.

You can look at the solar eclipse directly

Once with your left eye, once with your right eye

Elon's opening speech for the Tesla Solar Roof really got my attention...

Who knew there were thousands of hot shingles in my area?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The solar eclipse is like my sex life

it will be dark, hurt your eyes and only last 2 minutes!

We need to start investing more in solar energy

But it's not just going to happen overnight

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Donald Trump watched the solar eclipse from the White House

President Trump was at the White House when one of his Secret Service agents spoke up.

"Mr President, the eclipse is about to happen. If you wear these glasses and look into the sky, you should see it shortly."

Donald Trump, not one for unsolicited advice, declines the glasses but none...

How many unknown solar systems are there?

If we knew they wouldn't be unknown.

You can use a cereal box to see the solar eclipse,

But can they see why kids love the taste of cinnamon toast crunch?

I really wish someone would have told me how long this solar eclipse was going to take.

Don't get me wrong, I had been enjoying watching it, but had I know it would still be going on for this long, I would have bought a pair of those fancy NASA glasses.

I'm really worried about the upcoming solar eclipse.

Because I've always heard that once you go black, you never go back.

What do people who make memes and solar eclipses over the US have in common?

It takes them both 38 years to go all the way.

So Trump recently put tariffs on solar cells and washing machines...

He must really hate being clean.

I'll never forget this solar eclipse, it'll forever be seared into my mind...

...and retinas. I really should've worn some glasses.

Every solar eclipse, children are often reported missing...

Because the parents cannot find their sun.

I am surprised Trump wanted to look at the solar eclipse today...

Because if he went blind all he would see is black

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