UPJOKE
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Dad can you explain to me what a solar eclipse is

No sun
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Why are solar panels so trustworthy?

They don't work in the shadows.
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I think Saturn's name is the best in our solar system

It has a nice ring to it
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What did the wind turbine say to the solar panel?

I'm a big fan.
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Why haven't aliens visited our solar system?

They looked at the reviews and we only have one star.
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Why are solar panels always optimistic?

They always keep their sunny side up.
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Solar radiation has turned the American flags on the moon pure white...

...so now it looks like France landed there.
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The solar eclipse is like my sex life

it will be dark, hurt your eyes and only last 2 minutes!

Why did the alien refuse to attend the solar system's party?

He heard it had no atmosphere!
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A solar panel is talking to a wind turbine...

The solar panel says, "So what do you think about this whole renewable energy thing?"
The turbine replies, "I'm a big fan."
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Did you know that every planet in our solar system is named after a god?

Except Earth...which is named after all that stuff on the ground.
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What would be the first thing communists do if they ruled the solar system?

Rename Uranus to Ouranus

I saw God write a review about our solar system a while ago

he didn’t explain why he gave it a one star tho
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TIL the American flag on the moon has turned into the French flag.

Due to solar radiation, the red and blue pigment has disappeared, leaving the flag to be completely white.
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I'm taking my wife for skydiving.

So if you see a solar eclipse today, don't be surprised.
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Uranus is the coldest place in the solar system

So it’s safe to say the sun don’t shine there.

A solar panel, a wind turbine and a hydro dam are all getting to know each other.

‘What kind of music are you into?’ asks the dam.
‘I’m into trance’, replies the solar panel.
‘Ooh, too intense for me’, dam says, ‘I much prefer classical melodies, maybe a little 60s soul at the weekends.’
‘What about you Mr Turbine? What are you into?’
‘Me?’ He replies, ‘I’m a huge met...
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Scientists are working on new solar energy panels.

They want a material that absorbs and releases the most radiating heat. The consensus is car seats.
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I've finally saved up enough for solar panels.

What's holding me back is that I can't afford a house.
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I have a solar fetish.

It makes me hot.
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My neighbor told me he was getting solar panels.

Well, he's got my respect. What a power move.
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What’s the solar system’s favorite type of egg scramble?

Sunny-Side up…

I couldn’t resist
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What do you call a solar powered keyboard?

A photosynthesiser
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A _solar_eclipse is when the moon is between the Earth and the Sun. A _lunar_ eclipse is when the earth is between the Moon and the Sun. What’s it called when the sun is between the moon and the earth?

The apocalypse…
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What's the difference between solar energy and nuclear energy?

What's the difference between solar energy and nuclear energy?

The distance
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"Dad, can you tell me what a solar eclipse is?"

No sun.
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Solar Panels.

Do you have solar panels on your home yet? I just had some put on. But I’m not sure if I’ll keep them.

The other day I was in my house and the computer and lights are flickering. So I did, what you would do, I went outside to check my new solar cells. I get get outside and look up at the roof...
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How does a solar system throw a party?

They planet.
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Why are most solar systems bad business partners?

Most are rated one star and even the best only have three.
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Why didn't the astronaut go on holiday to the binary solar system?

It was two sunny.
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What is the best college to apply to learn about solar radiation?

U.V. Ray
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What's the difference between cellular mitochondria and a home's rooftop solar array?

One is the powerhouse of the cell. The other is the power cell of the house.
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A windmill and a solar panel are talking during a storm...

Windmill "Awesome weather we are having!"
Solar panel "I am not a fan."
Added thanks to /r/ChiisaiMurasaki: The nuclear powerplant overhears them feels left out, so he has a meltdown. What an over reactor!
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I've invented a solar-powered still!

It turns sunshine into moonshine.

Credit: Quirk.
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Saturn and Neptune are the butt cheeks of the solar system

Uranus is between them

I asked my German friend how many planets in our Solar System

Surprisingly he said "Nine"
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

That solar eclipse was so dark...

The LAPD beat the shit out of it for being on the wrong side of town.

I locked my car doors when it passed by.

It had its own hashtag for mattering.

Okay r/jokes, take it from here. That solar eclipse was so dark...

August 20, 2020: Scientists have discovered a "mystery object" in space. The object is equal to 2.6 solar masses.

March 1, 2021: (Update) Scientists have determined that the “mystery object” is made up of unmatched socks.
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Thankfully, someone created an online resource for everyone who suffered retinal damage watching the solar eclipse.

It truly is a site for sore eyes.
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Babe, you can call me Solar Radiation.

Because I'm about to get caught up in your ozone.
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Ganymede left Jupiter and flew out of the solar system last week

I saw it today in the orbituaries.
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You can look at the solar eclipse directly

Once with your left eye, once with your right eye
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I think our solar system is highly underrated ...

... Seriously, just one star? Duh.
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I'm really worried about the upcoming solar eclipse.

Because I've always heard that once you go black, you never go back.
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How does our solar system hold its pants up?

With an asteroid belt.
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Every solar eclipse, children are often reported missing...

Because the parents cannot find their sun.
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why haven't aliens visited our solar system yet? (Please read post)

Because this god damn joke is reposted every fucking hour.

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My boyfriend asked me how many planets are in our solar system.

And I said. "Eight"
And he said, "Nope, only 7, after I destroy Uranus tonight."

The Nasa Parker Solar probe will be 4 million miles away from the sun

Due to the high temperatures it will have to operate at night.
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If you shrunk the solar system down so that the sun was at the top of your head and the orbit of Pluto was at your feet,

Uranus would be right about where you'd expect it to be.

You can use a cereal box to see the solar eclipse,

But can they see why kids love the taste of cinnamon toast crunch?
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We need to start investing more in solar energy

But it's not just going to happen overnight
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There’s a contest going around and if you win 1st place you get a whole solar system named after you

Second place is just a constellation prize
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Donald Trump watched the solar eclipse from the White House

President Trump was at the White House when one of his Secret Service agents spoke up.

"Mr President, the eclipse is about to happen. If you wear these glasses and look into the sky, you should see it shortly."

Donald Trump, not one for unsolicited advice, declines the glasses but none...

I am surprised Trump wanted to look at the solar eclipse today...

Because if he went blind all he would see is black
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Why don't we have any alien visitors in our solar system?

I googled it and found the reason...

It's rated only '1 star' out there.
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Elon's opening speech for the Tesla Solar Roof really got my attention...

Who knew there were thousands of hot shingles in my area?
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