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Easiest Jokes

People often say "icy" is the easiest word to spell.

Looking at it now, i see why.

A man who lost his hat decided the easiest way to replace it was to steal it.

So he goes to the local church in search of a hat. A sermon about the ten commandments was going on as he made his way to the cloakroom. He stopped, thought for a moment, and changed his mind.

Upon seeing the pastor, the man walks up to him and says, "Father, I must say, your sermon saved me ...

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The easiest abortion I've ever performed was on a stripper.

It was like taking a baby from Candy.

Quitting smoking is the easiest thing I've ever done.

I've quit hundreds of times.

What kind of tea is easiest to make?

A simplici-tea.

What kind of tea is most calming?
A sereni-tea.

And what kind od tea is most bitter?
A reali-tea.

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Guide for Russian troops: How to identify Ukrainians

Sometimes Ukrainian saboteurs try to pass off as Russian troops. The easiest way to identify them is to remove their pants and examine their genitalia. All Ukrainians have balls of steel. Even women.

I heard the easiest method for free karma today!

It’s actually really a piece of cake

What’s the easiest way to become a cryptocurrency millionaire?

>!Start as a cryptocurrency billionaire and hodl. !<

What's the easiest way to lose 20 pounds?

The Steam summer sale

What's the easiest way to cut a diamond's value in half?

Buy it.

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Easiest way to get immortality

Me : *rubs lamp* "I don't want to die a virgin"

Genie : *grants immortality*

Russian roulette may be the easiest game on earth

Not a single person alive has ever lost at it

Want to know the easiest and laziest way to write subtitles?

\[inaudible\]

The easiest way to distinguish between an aligator and a crocodile

Is to know whether it will see you later or in a while.

What's the easiest way to pay a musician?

Open the door, hand him the cash and take the pizza

I always felt proud when my mum told people that of all her kids, I was her easiest pregnancy and birth.

Then I turned 21 and found out that I was adopted.

What's the easiest way to build stairs?

By using a step-by-step guide

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Sex workers had the easiest job in 2020.

They already had a PP-PPE rule!

What’s the easiest way to remember your wife’s birthday?

Forget it once!


———

But today is mine reddit =D

Edit1: Thanks for the award = D

The easiest time to add insult to injury

Is when you’re signing somebody’s cast.

Why is English considered the easiest language to learn?

Because even the Americans are decent at it!

What's the easiest way to find a spy in the United States?

Ask them to sing the Star Spangled Banner.

If the sing more than one verse, you have your spy.

What job is easiest to do on-line?

Tightrope walking!

What’s the easiest way to limit overpopulation.

Change the the caption from “please do not try this at home” to “please try this at home”

Easiest way to tell a scientist from a construction worker?

Have them pronounce unionize.

Which room is the easiest to install windows in, regardless of it's position in the building?

A server room.

The easiest way to make money is to take pictures of salmon dressed in human clothes.

It’s like shooting fish in apparel.

Why are African memes the easiest to steal?

Well, none of them have a watermark...

What is the easiest structure to carry?

A lighthouse

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Five surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients on the operating table.

Five surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients on the operating table.
The first surgeon says, "I like to see accountants on my operating table because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered."
The second responds, "Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything ins...

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What’s the easiest way to clean a toilet?

Flush the shit out of it

What's the easiest seafood to catch accidentally?

Crabs.

What’s the easiest way to sneak a bomb onto a plane?

Buy a galaxy note 7

Easiest way to win a debate is to have a sharp sword at the ready

Everybody will agree you have a good point

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Three surgeons are arguing what type of person is the easiest to perform surgery to

The first one says:
"Well, it's obviously librarians, because all of their organs are filed down in alphabetical order, and nothing is ever out of place!"

The second one answers:
"I disagree, the best people to operate upon are engineers; Their organs are very strictly placed exactly ...

What’s the easiest, yet longest way to get fired?

Say something controversial on Twitter and wait 5 years.

What is the easiest religon to troll?

Aetheism.

Why are amputees the easiest to subdue?

They’re always unarmed

The easiest way to not have enemies is to outlive them

In the end, time wounds all heels.

What's the easiest animal to shoot?

Fish, because they're always found in schools.

Who has the easiest job in the world right now?

Joan Rivers' embalmer.

What's the easiest job in China?

Police sketch artist.

What's the easiest way to get gravel in the back of a minivan?

Tell one or more children not to get gravel in the back of that minivan.

What’s the easiest way to circumcise a redneck?

Just kick his cousin in the jaw.

What's the easiest way to make a bear docile?

If someone could answer quickly that wou

When I was younger my dad taught me the easiest way to catch a bear.

First you need to dig a hole about 6 feet wide and 12 feet deep. Then you put a thin layer of ash from a campfire just enough to cover the bottom of the hole. The next step is to place a ring of peas all around the edge of the hole. Then when the bear comes to take a pea, you kick him in the ash hol...

Unreal numbers are the easiest part of advanced mathematics.

The struggle is real.

What's the easiest class in a Catholic school?

Religion.

It has no facts to memorize

What is the easiest way to tell if somebody is vegan?

Oh, don't worry. They'll tell you.

Which high-ranking Cardassian did Sisko find easiest to fool?

It wasn't Gul Dukat... it was Gul Ebahl!

What is the easiest way to get chewing gum out of your hair?

Cancer.

Jokes about communism are the easiest to understand

If I get it, everyone else gets it too.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What is the easiest way to fit an entire peanut butter sandwich into your mouth?

You jam it.

Lasagna is one of the easiest meals to make...

It's a pizza cake.

I was struggling to think of the easiest things to draw today.

So far I've drawn a blank.

The teacher asked her students: "What is the easiest way to die?"

"I think the easiest way to die is how my grandpa died," one of the students answered.

"And how did your grandpa die?" the teacher asked.

"He died while he was asleep." answered the student.

"And what is the worst way to die?" the teacher asked again.

The same student rai...

What's the easiest way to perform an exorcism?

You beat the hell out of them

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What's the easiest thing to find on reddit?

Virgins

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What's the easiest way to upset your girlfriend during sex?

Call her.

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What's the easiest way to get laid?

Crawl up a chickens ass and wait.

What's the easiest way to get off an elephant?

I don't know but you should buy it dinner first!

My surgeon says I'm the easiest patient to work on.

Because I'm gutless, spineless, and my brain and colon are interchangeable.

Dog walking is by far the easiest job I've done..

It was a walk in the park

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What's the easiest way to confuse an anthropologist?

Hold up a used tampon and ask him to identify which period it's from

Who had the easiest path to the presidency of the United States?

Mike Pence

I took a class recently on the history of food preservation.

In the early days, metal containers were the cheapest and easiest to make, so almost all food was stored in cans. Tin was a particularly soft and easy to mold/shape, and didn’t rust like other options, so most preserved food cans were made of tin.

Things went great for a while, with some food...

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What US state is it easiest to hide a prostitute in?

H-Idaho-e

What is the easiest way to get a one-armed monkey hanging from a tree to fall?

You wave.

What is the easiest way for a stressed astronaut to unwind and decompress?

By opening the door.

A man had a goose on top of a building. What's the easiest way for him to get down?

Pluck it off the goose.

I just thought of this now and I don’t have time to fix it into a proper joke but... What’s the easiest way for a person with type 1 diabetes to lose it?

Eat enough to get type 2

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Three surgeons are talking about their favorite kinds of patients.

"My favorite patients are librarians." says the first surgeon. "They're easy to operate on because their organs are all in alphabetical order."

"My favorite patients are mathematicians." says the second surgeon. "They're easy to operate on because all their organs are numbered."

"My fa...

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Frank and Pete are playing outside

Frank asks Pete: hey Pete -, do you know what a penis is?

Pete thinks about it but doesnt know either.. :"i'll quickly ask my dad - he knows everything.

Pete finds his dad in the kitchen and asks;, "Daddy, what exactly is a penis?"

His dad is kinda overstrained and struggles to...

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A Londoner, a Parisian and a New Yorker get captured by cannibals…

The cannibals are pretty pissed off because these guys have just wandered into their territory without asking permission. So the cannibals tell them, “We’re going to kill you, we’re going to eat you, and we’re going to make a canoe out of your skins. But just because we’re in a good mood today will...

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Hey guys, YouTube recommended me a video on "How to identify if a guy is gay".

Easiest would be to ask them, then again we wouldn't know if they're gonna give a straight answer.

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