Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world.

I know because I've done it thousands of times.

People think ICY is the easiest word to spell,

Come to think of it,
I C Y

The easiest way to distinguish between an aligator and a crocodile

Is to know whether it will see you later or in a while.

What’s the easiest way to remember your wife’s birthday?

Forget it once!


———

But today is mine reddit =D

Edit1: Thanks for the award = D

The easiest way to make money is to take pictures of salmon dressed in human clothes.

It’s like shooting fish in apparel.

What's the easiest way to find a spy in the United States?

Ask them to sing the Star Spangled Banner.

If the sing more than one verse, you have your spy.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Londoner, a Parisian and a New Yorker get captured by cannibals…

The cannibals are pretty pissed off because these guys have just wandered into their territory without asking permission. So the cannibals tell them, “We’re going to kill you, we’re going to eat you, and we’re going to make a canoe out of your skins. But just because we’re in a good mood today will...

What's the easiest way to get free Karma?

Piece of cake!

... Or just repost everything

Easiest way to win a debate is to have a sharp sword at the ready

Everybody will agree you have a good point

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Sex workers had the easiest job in 2020.

They already had a PP-PPE rule!

Easiest way to tell a scientist from a construction worker?

Have them pronounce unionize.

The easiest time to add insult to injury

Is when you’re signing somebody’s cast.

Want to know the easiest and laziest way to write subtitles?

\[inaudible\]

What's the easiest way to starve a zombie?

I shouldn't have to tell you anyways, it's a no brainer.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The easiest abortion I've ever performed was on a stripper.

It was like taking a baby from Candy.

What job is easiest to do on-line?

Tightrope walking!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three surgeons are arguing what type of person is the easiest to perform surgery to

The first one says:
"Well, it's obviously librarians, because all of their organs are filed down in alphabetical order, and nothing is ever out of place!"

The second one answers:
"I disagree, the best people to operate upon are engineers; Their organs are very strictly placed exactly ...

What’s the easiest way to sneak a bomb onto a plane?

Buy a galaxy note 7

When I was younger my dad taught me the easiest way to catch a bear.

First you need to dig a hole about 6 feet wide and 12 feet deep. Then you put a thin layer of ash from a campfire just enough to cover the bottom of the hole. The next step is to place a ring of peas all around the edge of the hole. Then when the bear comes to take a pea, you kick him in the ash hol...

Why is a Detroit Lions fan the easiest to date?

Her standards are so low, because every year she gets disappointed by 55 men.

What's the easiest way to build stairs?

By using a step-by-step guide

What's the easiest way to get a fine?

Ask a policeman how he's feeling

What's the easiest way for a person to get a lot of head?

Just pour a beer very poorly.

The easiest way to get an unpaid internship with Tesla's QA department is...

...to order a Tesla vehicle.

I asked a Buddha what it would take to get a lot of good sweet karma in the easiest way possible today.

He said it’s a secret.

I just thought of this now and I don’t have time to fix it into a proper joke but... What’s the easiest way for a person with type 1 diabetes to lose it?

Eat enough to get type 2

English is not the easiest of languages

It can be understood through tough thorough thought though.

What's the easiest way to get gravel in the back of a minivan?

Tell one or more children not to get gravel in the back of that minivan.

What’s the easiest, yet longest way to get fired?

Say something controversial on Twitter and wait 5 years.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What is the easiest way to fit an entire peanut butter sandwich into your mouth?

You jam it.

The easiest way to not have enemies is to outlive them

In the end, time wounds all heels.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What’s the easiest way to clean a toilet?

Flush the shit out of it

Why are African memes the easiest to steal?

Well, none of them have a watermark...

What’s the easiest way to limit overpopulation.

Change the the caption from “please do not try this at home” to “please try this at home”

What's the easiest way to lose 20 pounds?

The Steam summer sale

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An 18 yr old son asks his dad “when you were young, what would have been the quickest and easiest way to save £250k?”

Dad: “pull out”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Easiest way to get immortality

Me : *rubs lamp* "I don't want to die a virgin"

Genie : *grants immortality*

Why is English considered the easiest language to learn?

Because even the Americans are decent at it!

Forest Gump dies and goes to Heaven

The day finally arrived: Forrest Gump dies and goes to heaven. He is at the Pearly Gates, met by St Peter himself.

St Peter says, "Well Forrest, it's certainly good to see you. I must inform you that the place is filling up fast and we've been administering an entrance examination for everyon...

Hacker sent me an email that he has hacked into my computer.

I said "prove it" and he sent me the username and password of my email, bank and social media accounts.

I replied "Thank you, that was the easiest Forgot Password process I have ever come across".

The easiest thing I’ve done all day

I was in chemistry class, and was having problem with one of the questions, so I asked the girl next to me. She was very rude about it and after she finished the problem she said with an attitude, “There, that was the easiest thing I’ve done all day.” I brush it off and move on. Then, as it’s time ...

What's the easiest seafood to catch accidentally?

Crabs.

Whats the easiest way to get a Jewish girls number?

Roll up her sleeve.

Why are Carpenters the easiest to get Christmas gifts for?

All they want for Christmas is Yew.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Five Surgeons

Five surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients to operate on.

The first surgeon says, "I like to see accountants on my operating table because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered."

The second responds, "Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside...

What's the easiest way to make a bear docile?

If someone could answer quickly that wou

Why are amputees the easiest to subdue?

They’re always unarmed

I was struggling to think of the easiest things to draw today.

So far I've drawn a blank.

What is the easiest way to get chewing gum out of your hair?

Cancer.

Which high-ranking Cardassian did Sisko find easiest to fool?

It wasn't Gul Dukat... it was Gul Ebahl!

What is the easiest way to tell if somebody is vegan?

Oh, don't worry. They'll tell you.

What’s the easiest way to circumcise a redneck?

Just kick his cousin in the jaw.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two men were discussing their favorite sex styles

Man 1: I usually go doggy style or cowgirl. It’s just the easiest for me.

Man 2: Then you never had it in machinists style. You gotta try that it’s the best.

Man 1: What do you do in the machinist style?

Man 2: Screw, nut and bolt.

Unreal numbers are the easiest part of advanced mathematics.

The struggle is real.

The teacher asked her students: "What is the easiest way to die?"

"I think the easiest way to die is how my grandpa died," one of the students answered.

"And how did your grandpa die?" the teacher asked.

"He died while he was asleep." answered the student.

"And what is the worst way to die?" the teacher asked again.

The same student rai...

What's the easiest way to pay a musician?

Open the door, hand him the cash and take the pizza

Who has the easiest job in the world right now?

Joan Rivers' embalmer.

What's the easiest animal to shoot?

Fish, because they're always found in schools.

What is the easiest way to get a one-armed monkey hanging from a tree to fall?

You wave.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Science-Minded Deviant

There's this scientist that loves dolphins. He loves dolphins so much, he wants to figure out a way to make them live forever. For years he slaves away in his basement laboratory, and he believes that he has found a compound that when given to dolphins, will make them live forever. The only probl...

What's the easiest job in China?

Police sketch artist.

What's the easiest class in a Catholic school?

Religion.

It has no facts to memorize

An employee asks his boss to be transferred to a new department.

"Why, what's wrong with the fan department you're in now?" says the boss.

"Are you kidding me? This department blows!!"

The boss sighs, "Well, there is an opening in the vacuum cleaner department..."

"Hell no!" the employee screams, "that department sucks!"

The boss chas...

Lasagna is one of the easiest meals to make...

It's a pizza cake.

Jokes about communism are the easiest to understand

If I get it, everyone else gets it too.

What's the easiest way to perform an exorcism?

You beat the hell out of them

Who had the easiest path to the presidency of the United States?

Mike Pence

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the easiest way to upset your girlfriend during sex?

Call her.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Whats the easiest way to confuse Helen Keller?

Put doorknobs on all the walls.

Dog walking is by far the easiest job I've done..

It was a walk in the park

What is the easiest way for a stressed astronaut to unwind and decompress?

By opening the door.

What's the easiest way to get off an elephant?

I don't know but you should buy it dinner first!

My surgeon says I'm the easiest patient to work on.

Because I'm gutless, spineless, and my brain and colon are interchangeable.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What US state is it easiest to hide a prostitute in?

H-Idaho-e

What's the easiest way to make a homeless person bleed?

Brush their teeth!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the easiest thing to find on reddit?

Virgins

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the easiest way to confuse an anthropologist?

Hold up a used tampon and ask him to identify which period it's from

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The $5,000,000 question....

Bob had finally made it to the last round of the $5,000,000 Question. The night before the big question, he told the M.C. that he desired a question on American History.

The big night had arrived. Bob made his way on stage in front of the studio and TV audience. He had become the talk of the ...

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