UPJOKE
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Each year I eagerly anticipate this day so I can share my favorite Dad Joke of all time:

Most people don't know that back in 1912, Hellmann's mayonnaise was manufactured in England. In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico, which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after its stop in New York.

This wo...

An elderly couple named Bill and Helen went to the county fair each year.

One year, a man at the fair was giving helicopter rides for 50 dollars. Having never been in a helicopter in all his years, Bill begged Helen to let them ride. She refused, quipping "50 bucks is 50 bucks."

The following year, the man was there again, and again Bill begged for a ride. Again H...

I got asked, how can I easily remember my Reddit anniversary each year?

Piece of cake.

Do you know how many people die from coconuts each year?

A bunch

Statistically 100,000 people die each year playing Russian roulette ....

It's mind-blowing!

On average how many planes crash each year?

Typically in bounces between 7, 3, and 7. But recently it's at Max 8

A very wealthy lawyer vacationed for several weeks each year...

... at his summer home in the backwoods of Maine. Each summer, he would invite friends to come to visit him.

One summer he invited a lawyer from the Czech Republic to visit. The friend, eager to see how a wealthy American vacationed, gratefully agreed. They had a wonderful vacation, and spen...

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Why do 40,000 people get injured by their toilets each year?

Because the toilets are done taking their shit.

There are increasing amounts of obese people each year

I'm not sure if you understand the weight of the situation

Christmas keeps getting earlier and earlier each year.

There's 364 days until then and people already have their lights up.

Worldwide, millions die from alcohol abuse each year....

Its truly a horrible ginocide.

Why do the leaves turn red at the same time each year?

Because the process is autumnated.

Over 600 thousand watches are thrown away each year

I guess you could call it a waste of time.

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So, me and the guys, each year, compete to see who has had sex with the most women.

It's a very intense lying competition.

Thousands of homeless water faucets die on the streets without food or shelter each year.

Let that sink in.

A prince was put under a spell so that he could speak only one word each year.

If he didn’t speak for two years, the following year he could speak two words and so on.

One day, he fell in love with a beautiful lady. He refrained from speaking for two whole years so he could call her “my darling.”

But then he wanted to tell her he loved her, so he waited three mor...

The US asked Mexico how many illegal immigrants got into America each year...

Mexico said- "Not Juan"

TIL wooden shoe failure is responsible for multiple deaths each year in the Netherlands. The incidents are archived on this government website.

The Broken Clog Croakin' Blog

A prince which was in love with a princess was cursed by a witch so that he could only say 1 word each year, he didn´t speak for 4 years until he finally said "Princess, I love you" Then the princess looked at him and said

"What did you say?"







Btw, i took this from a novel i red so some might have heard it before.

the cursed prince

there was once a prince who had been cursed by a witch. the curse was that he could only say one word each year

well one day, by the stream, he meets a beautiful princess. he decides that he loves her, and doesn't speak for 3 years so that he can save up the words to tell her " I love you"....

When my girlfriend’s father asked me what I do for a living, I was embarrassed to say that I work at McDonald’s, so instead, I said …

"I handle transactions for a multi-billion-dollar company and industry on a daily basis
and help provide around $2 billion to the US economy each year"

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