The Dyson Ball Vacuum…

Is a horribly misleading name for this product.

I’m writing this from the hospital. Don’t worry, the doctors say I should be fine, but I must warn you -

.. the Dyson ball cleaner has a very misleading name!

My son asked me, "What happens to the spiders that gets hoovered up?"

"They Dyson."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I got my testicles trapped in a dyson

Now we're both bagless.

Dyson is planning to release an electric car by 2020...

I bet they'll suck.

I think the Dysons in washrooms these days are pretty cool

But I have to say, they're the messiest urinals I've ever used.

I just got fired from my job at Dyson.

My design for a new hoover didn't work.

I don't know what their problem is, when they asked me to design it they told me, "just make sure it doesn't suck!"

I got fired from my position of sales associate at Dyson vacuums yesterday...

Apparently saying "Would you like to try our vacuums? They suck!" wasn't the best thing to say to the customers.

I’m an Anti-vax and I don’t care what you think.

I’m sick and tired of seeing people who are anti-vax getting bullied on social media. We have good reasons to feel this way and simply bad mouthing us or attacking us is not going to change our mind. We will not be silenced.

I for sure will never have one again. No chance, no matter what you ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A friend bet me I couldn't piss in a Dyson Airblade

Boy, did that blow up in my face.

I’m an Anti-vax and I don’t care what you think.

They are absolutely the worst brand of vacuum cleaner. Dyson all the way for me!

You want to know my opinion on the Dyson airblade?

Not a fan

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There once was a sweet little spider...

There once was a sweet little spider

who thought a dark corner would hide her.

Whilst a fly she was shucking

A dyson came sucking

Was I sad? No 'cause fuck little spiders.

What’s an antivaxxers favorite vacuum?

Dyson.

The Grim Reaper came for me last night

The Grim Reaper came for me last night, and I beat him off with a vacuum cleaner. Talk about Dyson with death.

Been sitting in the ER all night. Don’t really want to go into details but...

The “Dyson Ball Cleaner” has a very misleading product name

Boris Johnson has just tested positive for corona virus.

He’s been placed on the new Dyson ventilator we are pleased to say he’s picking up nicely.

The knife that Abraham used to kill Isaac has been found in Britain.

Apparently, it was a Dyson.

The only vacuum I use is the one made specifically for made for antivax parents...

Dyson

Whats the last thing your father says before killing you with a vacuum cleaner?

Dyson

What do you call a boxer who does the cleaning?

Mike Dyson!

What did the father vacuum say to his son before he left for war?

Don’t Dyson

What did the murderer say to his child as he pointed his vacuum cleaner at him?

Dyson.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What’s worse than getting caught mid-blowjob?

Being banned from every Dyson store in the country

Your dad does the vacuuming in boxing gloves

Calls himself Dyson Fury

I’m making a film about killer vacumes

It’s called Dyson with Death

Asked my mum what she’d like for her birthday.

“I wanna Dyson.” She said excitedly.


So that's why is smothered her with a pillow, your honour

I went to see the doctor yesterday as I wasn’t feeling too good after emptying my bagless vacuum cleaner

He told me I might actually dyson.

My parents raised me anti-Vax.

They always preferred Dyson.

A physicist moved from the country to the noise of the inner city...

And found the noise there insufferable. But, being a man of science he lined the walls of his apartment with broken Hoover's, Dirt Devil's, and Dyson's, because sound can't travel through a Vacuum.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three Men are Captured by Female Savages!

They are told their dicks would be removed in a manner appropriate to their jobs.

The first was a lumberjack, so his would be chopped off.

The second was a butcher, so his would be sliced off.

The third man started laughing. The females asked what was so funny, and he replied, "...

Mother nature decides to buy a condo in Miami Beach.

Mother nature decided she would like to be a snowbird and bought a condo in Miami Beach. All of the mythological creatures were invited to her housewarming party.

Father time gave her a beautiful grandfather clock.
Jack Frost presented her with a state of art air conditioning system.
Th...

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Christmas eve pet store purchase

A guy frantically runs to the pet store on christmas eve and go's up to the owner-

Guy - I'm needing a puppy for my wife for christmas. I know I've left it late but can you please help!?

Store Owner - sorry son. your shit out of luck it being christmas eve n all, the cute pets are all ...

Who invented the sucker punch?

Mike Dyson

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