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Astro Jokes

What do you call J.K. Rowling in space?

AstroTERF

I went to an Astros game and couldn’t find the restroom.

They stole all the signs.

Why did the astro physicist go digging in the dirt?

He was looking for wormholes.

If athletes get athlete's foot, what do astronauts get?

Missile toe

What's the difference between the trash can in the Houston Astros dugout and me?

That trash can is getting banged

I'm glad the Astros won the World Series

The people of Houston have waded so long for this.

$tudent

Dear Dad,
$chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. With all my $tuff, I $imply can't think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you. Love,Your $on.~~~

Dear Son,
I kNOw that astroNOmy, ec...

One of the houston astros players almost got Coronavirus

He saw the signs coming before

What do Kanye, Travis and the astros have in common?

Bangin the trash

What do the Houston Astros and Betty Crocker have in common?

A great selection of batters

How many Astros fans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Both of them.

Did you know that the Jetsons dog had scientific PhD?

He was an Astro physicist.

What do you call a failed astronaut?

A cosmo-NOT!

Yesterday I was charged $10,000 dollars for sending my cat into space.

It was a cat astro fee.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call Neil deGrasse Tyson pouring champagne all over his naked chest?

An astro-fizzy-tits

What do you call a guy who fails to make it onto the Houston baseball team?

Astro, not.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a black man on the moon...

An Astronaut!

What do you call a tangled rope in space?

Astro-knot.

If someone ties their shoes in space...

Did they do an Astro-knot?

Black lives matter held a rally in Houston, but no one knew what they were trying to say.

The Astros stole all their signs.

What will they be wearing in Africa next month?

Houston Astros World Series Champion t-shirts.

What does Neil Degrasse Tyson say to pickup a lady?

"Hey, would you like to get astro physical with my dark matter?"

I had a really nice sign to put in my yard.

But the Astros stole it.

What is a knot that you can't untie?

An astro(naut)

How do they tie things down on the space station?

They use astro knots.

Bob is throwing a party

He decides that to break the ice at his party, he'll ask his guests what their I.Q. is. Hopefully this will strike up an appropriate conversation from there. The day of the party rolls around, and when the first guest knocks on the door, Bob asks the person what her I.Q. is. "275" came the reply. "W...

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