What do you call a failed astronaut?

A cosmo-NOT!

I'm glad the Astros won the World Series

The people of Houston have waded so long for this.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a black man on the moon...

An Astronaut!

How many Astros fans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Both of them.

What is a knot that you can't untie?

An astro(naut)

Dear Dad, $chool i$ great

Dear Dad,

$chool i$ great. I’m making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying hard. I $imply cannot think of anything I need, $o ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.

Love,
Your $on

Dear Son,

I kNOw astroNOmy, ecoNOmics and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even a...

What do you call a tangled rope in space?

Astro-knot.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What Do you Call Neil Degrasse Tyson when he pours champagne on his bare chest?

**An astro-fizzy-tits**

A college student sends a letter to his folks back home

Dear Mom and Dad,

**$**chool i**$** really great. I am making lot**$** of friend**$** and **$**tudying very hard. My profe**$$**or**$** are al**$**o **$**uper cool! With all my **$**tuff, I **$**imply can't think of anything I need, **$**o if you would like, you can ju**$**t **$**end me a ca...

What does Neil Degrasse Tyson say to pickup a lady?

"Hey, would you like to get astro physical with my dark matter?"

How do they tie things down on the space station?

They use astro knots.

Bob is throwing a party

He decides that to break the ice at his party, he'll ask his guests what their I.Q. is. Hopefully this will strike up an appropriate conversation from there. The day of the party rolls around, and when the first guest knocks on the door, Bob asks the person what her I.Q. is. "275" came the reply. "W...

Oscar came from a rough home... (from the r/baseball jokes thread)

His dad was cruel, and an alcoholic. Oscar had to wear long sleeves in the summer to hide the bruises. And his mother wasn't better off.

One fateful day, Oscar's mom made the soup too spicy, and dad started beating her with a cast iron skillet. Hearing his mother's screams and figuring this w...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.