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Astro Jokes

What do you call J.K. Rowling in space?

AstroTERF

Dear Dad, $chool i$ great. I’m making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying hard. I $imply can’t think of anything I need, $o ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you. Love, Your $on

Dear Son,
I kNOw astroNOmy, ecoNOmics and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.
Love, Dad

I went to an Astros game and couldn’t find the restroom.

They stole all the signs.

I'm glad the Astros won the World Series

The people of Houston have waded so long for this.

Why did the astro physicist go digging in the dirt?

He was looking for wormholes.

One of the houston astros players almost got Coronavirus

He saw the signs coming before

What do the Houston Astros and Betty Crocker have in common?

A great selection of batters

What's the difference between the trash can in the Houston Astros dugout and me?

That trash can is getting banged

If athletes get athlete's foot, what do astronauts get?

Missile toe

Did you know that the Jetsons dog had scientific PhD?

He was an Astro physicist.

If athletes get athletes feet, what do astronauts get?

>!Mistletoe!!!<

It's time.

How many Astros fans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Both of them.

What do you call a failed astronaut?

A cosmo-NOT!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What Do you Call Neil Degrasse Tyson when he pours champagne on his bare chest?

**An astro-fizzy-tits**

Yesterday I was charged $10,000 dollars for sending my cat into space.

It was a cat astro fee.

What do you call a tangled rope in space?

Astro-knot.

If someone ties their shoes in space...

Did they do an Astro-knot?

NASA is currently developing a way to grow cashews on the Moon's soil...

They're calling them Astro-nuts.

Black lives matter held a rally in Houston, but no one knew what they were trying to say.

The Astros stole all their signs.

What do you put in your interstellar trail mix?

Astro-nuts

What is a knot that you can't untie?

An astro(naut)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a black man on the moon...

An Astronaut!

I had a really nice sign to put in my yard.

But the Astros stole it.

What will they be wearing in Africa next month?

Houston Astros World Series Champion t-shirts.

How do they tie things down on the space station?

They use astro knots.

Bob is throwing a party

He decides that to break the ice at his party, he'll ask his guests what their I.Q. is. Hopefully this will strike up an appropriate conversation from there. The day of the party rolls around, and when the first guest knocks on the door, Bob asks the person what her I.Q. is. "275" came the reply. "W...

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