LMAO IM AT MY SCHOOL TALENT SHOW AND DUDE SAYS “Before I begin, I want to make sure this mic is working”

“If your name is Michael, please stand up”

Then a couple dudes stand up

And he goes “That concludes the mike check”



stolen from twitter @ cheyrubi

How do you greet a room full of naked dudes?

Hiya phallus!

How dudes gonna talk about a motherboard

When they don’t even know their daddyboard

Fiction Logic: How many anime dudes does it take to change a lightbulb

One...

But it takes them 10 god damn episodes.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two dudes are just hanging out

Dude 1 says "if you went camping and woke up with your pants around your ankles and semen coming out of ur ass, would you tell anyone?"

Dude 2 "No"

Dude 1 "You wanna go camping?"

I saw a man getting mugged by 2 dudes so I stepped in to help

he didn't stand a chance against the 3 of us

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was enjoying my trip to the glory hole until I heard a man moan from the other side of the wall...

I was pretty upset when I found out I was sucking a dudes cock the whole time.

A group of dudes are walking through the park

They see a young pair banging in the bushes. One of the dudes can't help himself but comment:

"Hey, man, leave some for us!"

"I can't, I inserted everything."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Someone showed me a porn movie with 2 dudes and one girl and said that it's called threesome

I said it's a DVD

Three guys were sleeping on a single mattress

When they wake up the guy on the left whispers to the other two, "Dudes, I just had a dream I was getting a handjob...It was friggin awesome."

Then the guy on the right says, "Get outta here! I had a handjob dream too!"

While they high fived and discussed the odds, the guy in the cente...

My female friend asked me today "Say, how does one catch some thirsty dudes for themselves?"

I said "just mark the post NSFW and they'll come around"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why are cheap dudes picky on prostitutes?

Because they want the best bang for their buck.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

3 Ugly Dudes

3 ugly guys were sick and tired of being ugly so they went to see a witch and ask for her advice.

The witch instructs the three to go to one specific bridge, jump off of it and while falling, yell how they want to look like. They could even simply name any celebrity and look like them.
...

Saw a guy being beaten up by 4 dudes

I went to go help. He didn’t stand a chance against the 5 of us.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call 12 naked dudes sitting on each other's shoulders?

A scrotum pole.

Guy gets sent to prison. 1st night, someone yells 39, whole prison laughs. Next night, someone yells 2, prison again erupts in laughter. Guy asks lifer what gives. Lifer explains there’s a joke book, been passed around for years. Dudes memorize # & corresponding joke. Guy gets book & memorizes a few

That night he yells, 24!!! Nothing...

Next night, 9!! Crickets

He asks the lifer the next day what’s happening...

Lifer says: some people just can’t tell jokes

Two dudes are smoking pot

One tells another:

-Dude, I think this pot is making me stupid, I should quit.

Second guy responds:

-No, dude it's the other way round, you're becoming smarter and realising that you're an idiot.

The joke is originally in Georgian, this is a translation.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Gay bars have the most polite dudes I've ever met..

They always push in my stool for me.

2 dudes are talking to each other

"A surgeon accidentally removed the left side of my body yesterday..."

"Oh wow that sucks are you all right?"

"Actually no, there's almost nothing left of me now."

"Hey dude, we should look at the bRight side."

"... That just wasn't even funny."

"Yeah, you're right...

I knew two dudes that died in a waterskiing accident.

They shared a wake.

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