UPJOKE
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A fat man sees a sign on a door: lose 1 pound for $1...

He puts a dollar in the slot and enters. There is a jogging track with a beautiful naked woman wearing jogging shoes. "Better start running" she says, beckoning him. Excited, he chases her around the track for an hour. Finally he catches her, she... ahem... rewards him... then he steps on the scale....

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Bill and Hillary

When Bill and Hillary first got married Bill said, “I put a box under the bed. You must promise never to look in it.”
In all their 30 years of marriage, Hillary never looked. On the afternoon of their 30th anniversary, curiosity got the best of her and she lifted the lid and peeked inside. In it ...

Did you know that the capital of Algeria is Algiers?

Algeria's capital is doubly named... but Libya's capital is tripoli

There was this guy working at McDonald’s.

and it was his turn to cook the French fries. So he put the frozen fries in the metal basket and dipped it in the oil. You see this guy was a veteran chef and used to be able to sense when food was cooked by looking at it's color or by smelling it, he never needed a timer or a meat thermometer or an...

A man crashed landed his plane in the middle of the desert

and after trudging on for days he was nearly finished, but stumbled upon a magic lamp. After rubbing the lamp a genie popped out and said, "Master you have three wishes, but I'm a special genie. For everything you wish for your mother in law will get double."

The man thought a moment but rep...

Use Your Lifeline...

A contestant on Who Wants to be a Millionaire? had reached the final plateau. And as she suspected it would be, the million-dollar question was no pushover. It was, "Which of the following species of birds does not build its own nest, but instead lays its eggs in the nests of other birds? Is it A) t...

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A bird in hand.....

So there was this farmer, his son, and the only animal on their farm that survived the winter: a duck.

One day, a farmer is sits down to pay some bills, when he realizes he's falling short of some money. Racking his brain for a bit, he finally decides to sell of the family's last duck, in ex...

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