Jack Schitt, Many people are at a loss for a response when someone says "you don't know Jack Schitt". Now, You can handle the situation. Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Knee-deep Schitt, Inc.
In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt and the deeply religious couple produced 6 children: Holie Schitt, The twins; Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Giva Schitt and Bull Schitt, a high school dropout. After being married for 15 years Jack and Noe divorced. Noe later married Mr. Sherlock a...
I just got a new dual-band wireless router, but I'm not sure if it's working or not.
It's giving me mixed signals.
The most confusing dual citizenship?
French and Spanish, because then you have to decide between being on strike and unemployed.
I am dual citizen
Half German half shepherd. Woof.
Dual Heart Attack Message By A Girl.
1st Message: “Let’s Breakup Now, Its All Over”
2nd Message: “Sorry-Sorry, That Was Not For You“
My local police department is running a dual campaign against dangerous driving and taking drugs. The signs read:
Did you know they were making dual-sided USB?
Now it'll only take **6** tries to plug it in.
What do you get when you have Windows and Mac OS X dual booting from the same computer?
A co-operating system.
It was late at night .....
It was late at night and the police were out checking for erratic driving.
They spotted a car travelling alone along the dual carriageway and decided to follow it. The car never exceeded the speed limit, gave all the correct signals as it left the main road and when they ...
Between washing my hands so much and hand sanitizer, my hands have really started getting dried out. Quick tip for my fellow men: hand lotion can help. Yes, I too was shocked it had a dual purpose!
A Cuban man dies and goes to Hell
There, the devil informs him that every country has its own hell. However, as he had dual citizenship, he could choose which Hell he wanted to be sent: American Hell or Cuban Hell.
He visits the American Hell first. At the door, he finds George Bush Senior.
“Excuse me, mr president, ...
Boris finds a gold fish...
"Hello Boris," says the gold fish "I will grant you three wishes". Excited brexeter says "I really like Donald Trump. Can I have a road running through the UK to America?", The goldfish laughs and tells him that bulding such thing on water is impossible! "Another wish, Boris" slightly annoyed Boris ...
For Sale - and not what you think it is!
'96 Model Year
Superior Performance and Handling
Runs Well Every Day
Dual Front Airbags
Spacious Rear Cargo
Looks Great, Sounds Better
No, this ...
My wife asked me if I love her and I told her that my heart is like my phone and she is the Sim card. She was impressed
but I didn't tell her that my phone has dual Sim
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
There’s a motorway having a drink in a pub.
In comes a Dual Carriageway. “You”, says the motorway, “this is my pub, get out”. With that the dual carriageway leaves with his tail between his legs.
Shortly afterwards, an A Road comes into the pub. Again the motorway points and says “Here, you, piss off out of my pub”. The A road looks s...
[long] A tourist goes to see the bullfight in Spain
After the matador disposed of the bull and the fight was over, he started to feel quite peckish. He spied a restaurant with a sign "BULLFIGHT SPECIAL" he was seated, and asked his waiter about the special and if it was an authentic Spanish dish or for tourists, to which the waiter responded, it's am...
One day little Johnny was playing in the sandbox with his crush, Sally. As they are playing, Johnny let's out a little fart causing the smallest little puff of sand. Embarrassed, Johnny starts to apologize. Before he has the chance, Sally interupts him proclaiming "that was amazing, how did you do t...
Jane goes to buy a car...
Jane went to buy a new car that she saw advertised for a certain price. After telling the salesman which car she wanted, they sat down to do the paperwork. The salesman handed Jane the bill, and she declared, “This isn’t the price I saw!”
The salesman went on to tell Jane how she was getting ...
What do you call your wife and mother-in-law when they're riding in the same car?
Dual air bags.