Don't Cry Jokes

"Oh, John," she sobbed on his shoulder. "I had baked a lovely cake and put it out on the back porch for the frosting to dry and the dog ate it!"

"Well, don't cry about it, sweetheart," he consoled, patting the pretty flushed cheek. "I know a man who will give us another dog."


... read more

That would just make it soggy.

"Tim! Are you all right?"
Sobbing, Tim moaned,
"Look at my new car!" pointing to it, wrapped around a tree.
"Hey, man. Don't cry. You can always get another car."
"But look inside the car."
George did and said,
"Aw, dude, that's terrible. But don't cry!
You can always get... read more

"Why are you crying?" He asks him. "What has happened?"

"I lost a coin and I can not find it," says the boy.

"There there little one, don't cry." He says, handing the boy something.

"Here's a matchstick in case you can't find it by nightfall."

A man observed a woman in the grocery store with a three year old girl in her basket. As they passed the cookie section, the little girl asked for cookies and her mother told her no. The little girl immediately began to whine and fuss, and the mother said quietly, Now Monica, we just have half of th... read more

Bob sees his mate Mike lying, battered and bruised, next to the road sobbing.

He runs over.. "Mike, are you okay?"

"Look at my car!" Mike says through the tears, pointing to the wreck wrapped around a nearby tree.

"Don't cry," Bob says, "you can always get another car."

"... read more

Cuz, they belong to the bravest house.
They don't cry publicly; they Grief-indoor.

Farmesan the dairy farmer is feeling bleu because of a string of falls he's been suffering. He calls up his doctor, Dr. Edam JaColby, and tells him "Doc, I'm in so much paineer!"and schedules an appointment. So Farmesan carephilly stumbles over to the clinic. "You mozzarella needed to see me cause y... read more

I miss the bin and the can hits a kid, the kid starts crying, I walk up to him and say "don't cry! It was only a soft drink!"

A beautiful princess had a shiny gold ball that was her prize possession. She would take it with her wherever she would go, gently throwing it in the air while she sang. One day she dropped the ball and it rolled down a hill and into a large pond. The princess ran to the pond and started to cry w... read more

The newly-married husband came home from the office to find his young wife in floods of tears. "Darling, whatever is the matter?" he asked.

"Sweetheart," she sobbed, "the most terrible thing has happened! I cooked my very first Beef Bouraguiginon for you, and I got it out of the oven to seas... read more

My friend said to his daughter;

'Don't cry. He's not actually dead."

The girl said;

'That's why I'm crying!'

...they're, there, their, don't cry.