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Detecting Jokes

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A man buys a lie detecting robot that slaps people when they lie, so he decides to try it out at dinner.

He asks his son, "Did you go to school today?" The son replies, "Yes," and the robot slaps him. The son says, "Alright, I went to the movies."



The father asks, "What did you see?" and the son replies, "Toy Story 4." The robot slaps him again, and the son says, "Okay, okay! It was an a...

I found a Land Rover whilst metal detecting today

It was a lovely discovery

I went metal detecting in Germany hoping to find an old coin.

I missed the mark though.

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The lie detecting robot

One day, a father goes out to a store and buys a lie detector robot. To make sure it works the father turns it on and says “I am 18 years old” then out of nowhere the robot slaps the father. Realizing that it works, the father decides to test it at dinner the same night.

Father: “So, son. Wha...

The world's leading scientists build a lie-detecting machine...

...so powerful that if you are detected to be lying, it you immediately drop dead.

They bring around three test subjects. The first one, an Irishman, is hooked to the machine. He says, "I think I don't drink" and the next moment, he's dead. Next, it's the Asian's turn. She says, "I think I'm ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man buys a lie-detecting robot...

A man buys a lie-detecting robot that bops anyone over the head who lies in its presence. He brings it home with him to the dinner table and the family sits in silence, eating.

"Johnny, what did you do today?" he asked his son.

"I did my homework!" Johnny replied, brightly. The robot ...

A man buys himself a lie detecting robot...

A man buys himself a lie detecting robot, but it has a unique feature. When someone lies, the robot slaps them. The man wants to test it out so he brings it down to the dinner table one evening. As they are eating the man asks his son if he was at school today, the boy says yes and the robot slaps h...

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