UPJOKE
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What did Putin say to NATO in response to being criticized for annexing parts of Ukraine?

'Oh, Crimea river.'

She criticized my apartment...

...so I knocked her flat.

Why Americans don’t need to feel bad when they are criticized by the British

Sometimes I hear people from Great Britain talk about how bad the education is in The US. I do get a little offended, but then I realize they are just salty because we beat them in The Civil War.

If Trump gets a coin every time he gets criticized

He would have built the wall using his own money.

I brought my girlfriend home to meet my family.

They criticized everything she did, mocked her heritage and gave her a psychiatric disorder.

I guess I shouldn't have insisted on the royal treatment.

What was the governor of North Carolina criticized for responding to Hurricane Florence so quickly?

Because women don’t like premature evacuations

If I had a dollar every time someone over 40 criticized my generation

I'd be making money in a very weird way.

Did you know Kurt Cobain constantly criticized other musicians and bands?

He was always shooting his mouth off.

What did Nixon say when his pasta got criticized?

I am not a cook.

How did NBC respond to someone who criticized their broadcasting?

I (*commercial break*) can't (*commercial break*) understand (*commercial break*) your accent (*commercial break*).

All these people are so quick to criticize Melania Trump for wanting to take on cyber bullying when that's something her husband has a problem with

But no one criticized Laura Bush for wanting to teach kids how to read

Did you know that Brian May, the guitarist from British rockband Queen, has a PhD on Astrophysics?

Yeah, he started his schooling before Queen formed, and achieved his PhD in 2007. One of his dissertations is heavily criticized by the science community though, and it's because he has an odd theory of what causes the Earth's rotation.

You see, he thinks that 'Fat Bottomed Girls make the Roc...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

New study shows the average person has 8 sexual partners in their life.

However it is being criticized for counting your mom who has sex with 30 new people a day and is therefore a statistical outlier.

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