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Antidote Jokes

It’s important to have a good vocabulary. If I had known the difference between the words ‘antidote’ and ‘anecdote,’

One of my good friends would still be alive.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Queen's breasts

Once upon a time there lived a beautiful Queen with large breasts.


Sid, the Dragon Slayer, obsessed over the Queen for this reason. He knew that the penalty for his desire would be death, should he try to touch them, but he had to try.


One day Sid revealed his secret desire to ...

What is the antidote they use for an overdose of Ritalin called?

RitalOut.



Thanks, I'll show myself out...

Lemonade

A man stumbles upon a little girl's lemonade stand and asks, "How much for a glass?" "First one's twenty-five cents," she responds. He hands her the money, downs the lemonade, and asks for another. "The second cup is twenty-five dollars", she states. Confused, the man asks, "Why?"

"This one h...

The CDC needs volunteers for the control group to test a new antidote for children.

Any antivaxxers have kids they can part with?

I once got some minor blood poisoning.

I tried to ingest the antidote, but it turns out it was in vein.

Jacob, age 92, and Beth, age 89, are excited about their decision to get married.

They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding and on the way they pass a chemist. Jacob suggests they go in.


Jacob addresses the man behind the counter: "Are you the owner?"...
The pharmacist answers "Yes".


Jacob: "We're about to get married. Do you sell heart medication?"
...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Ant

1. 5 ants + 5 ants = Tenants
2. To bring an ant from another country into your country = Important
3. Ant that goes to school = Brilliant
4. Ant that is looking for a job = Applicant
5. A spy ant = Informant
6. A very little ant = Infant
7. An ant that uses a gun = Militant
8. ...

What's the most profitable part of owning a lemonade stand?

Selling the antidote.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Lone Ranger get bit a snake

The lone Ranger and Tonto are out on the plains. The Lone Ranger somehow gets bitten on the penis by a poisonous snake.

He sends Tonto into the closest town to get a doctor and an antidote. The doctor says , 'There is no antidote for this, you're going to have to suck the poison out'.

...

I asked the hotel checkout girl, "Do you provide turndown service?"

She said, "Sure. I wouldn't go out with you if you were the last guy on earth after the zombie apocalypse and your saliva contained the antidote."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two friends are out hiking...

Bob and Larry are out hiking when Bob has to take a leak. He unzips and starts peeing against a tree when a snake bites him right on the penis. He's affected immediately and starts convulsing in pain.

Larry calls 911 and says, "Help me! My best friend in the whole world just got bitten by a s...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A minister wants to lick his queen's bosom

He asks Tenali Raman to help him achieve this desire. Tenali says he will help him out, but only for a fee. The minister pays him half the gold then and promises the rest once his desire has been fulfilled. Tenali agrees.

Tenali goes to the palace washerman, bribes him and gets him to put a s...

My friend would be alive today...

if we knew the difference between antidote and anecdote.


>"Am I going to live?"

>"I don't know."

>"Read faster!"

Once there was a dragon slayer named Nick.....

Nick was a wealthy man, due to the fact that there were many dragons around the kingdom that required killing. The king of the land used to pay a great price for every dragon killed. But Nick had a deep secret, he had a massive desire to sleep with the queen, even if it was just for a night.
One...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Lemonade Stand

At my lemonade stand I used to give the first glass away free and charge five dollars for the second glass. The refill contained the antidote.

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