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Courts Jokes

There are no divorce courts at the North Pole,

so when Santa and his wife wanted to split up, they got a semicolon.

They're great for separating independent Clauses.

These exchanges were recorded verbatim by court reporters and published in the book, "Disorder in the American Courts".

ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?

WITNESS: Yes.

ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?

WITNESS: I forget..

ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?

WITNESS: How would I know?
___...

Donald Trump finds a magic lamp. He rubs it, and a genie comes out.

Genie: "I grant you three wishes."

Trump: "I'm tired of getting sued for everything I do. I want there to be no more courts."

Genie: "Granted. You have no wishes left."

Trump: "What the hell? You told me I had three wishes, and I only used one!"

Genie: "Sue me."

My local tennis club doesn't allow courts to be pre-booked.

It works on a first come, first serve basis.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Mickey and Minnie Mouse in the divorce courts

And the judge says to Mickey
"I'm sorry Mickey I just cannot grant you a divorce as just because you think Minnie is ugly"

And Mickey says
" I didn't say she was ugly I said she was fucking Goofy"

Why did the blonde enter the tennis courts naked?

Because the sign said tennis shoes only.


*edit*
Thanks for the sliver kind person

An elderly man in Louisiana ...

... had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back. It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice with picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees.

One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there f...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do Courts say to each other while sexting?

Send Feuds.

As a Muslim, I really appreciate the Courts upholding religious freedom

Seriously, Praise Be A Law

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