Facial Jokes

But then it grew on me

A root beard

Cause he could only grow Apache beard!

*But then puberty hit and it grew on me*

7 a.m. on the nose.

iPhone user: The new iPhone is coming out

Samsung user: What's new?

iPhone user: We're getting facial recognition

Samsung user: Had that 4 year's ago next

iPhone user: We're getting wireless charging

Samsung user: Had that 2 year's ago next

iPhone user: We'r... read more

but eyebag to differ

Pistachio

I think I might be hairvoyant

The man sees a case of beer on one of the shelves and puts it in the cart.

“What are you doing?” asks his wife.

“They’re on sale, only $10 for 24 cans.” he responds.

“Well, put it back. We can’t afford those.”

Without another word, the man obeys his wife and puts the case... read more

Are morebeardly obese.

They're con artists.

then the mud fell off.

For example, you'll never need to worry about finding a job

...but it's growing on me.

It'll look at your face & tell you that you can't afford it.

You pick your nose.

It was more than a peeling.

But it’s growing on me

When his wife told him to get rid of it, he said "no, it's a must stash".

A side-burn

Now they just have to fine tune it a bit to pick up the other five hundred and seven.

It was a bit *sketchy*

Because she's so two-faced

I hear it was a mean look.

Just wait until you hear about driver licenses.

I told him "Yeah, it grows on you."

I’m losing my nerve

why couldn't i be more like my mom?

... who used to be very lustful. He slept with many women in the kingdom. One day the prince was roaming around and stumbled upon a washerman's shop by the river. He saw a young boy washing clothes. Upon coming near the boy, the prince realised the boy has the same facial looks as him. He approached... read more

All they had at the time were full heads in cling-wrap. After a few back and forth, the clerk heads to the office exasperated and asks his manager. 'There's a 300-pound gorilla outside asking to buy half-a-head of cabbage'. From his manager's facial expression, he realized he's been followed. 'And t... read more

Facial muscles

And presto-chango, facial hare!

Is what comes to mind when the word "Facial" is used.

There, the three women meet the caretaker of heaven. He points out that there is only one rule in Heaven; do not step on the turtles. An odd rule but the women agree with a pinch of confusion. When they enter, the only thing they can see are turtles. Everywhere turtles. A croak croak here, a croak c... read more

The doctor had a quick look, and said, "Sure, but you may have to have some facial reconstruction and wear a mask.... How does that sound to you?"

"Not good!" My wife replied, "The acid only hit me on my leg."

“A facial hare” he replies

Now that they've added facial recognition you don't need to lift a finger!

One of the greatest differences between men and women is the reaction to the word "facial"

"Of course not, honey. You have everything a man wants, a deep voice, broad shoulders, facial hair..."

The dog doesn’t seem to hear her trying to call it at all, so she decides to take the puppy to see the vet. The vet says “well sometimes these schnauzers grow to much hair in their ears and can’t hear very well”. The vet checks the puppy’s ears, and sure enough they are overgrown with hair. The vet ... read more

You don't know the pain of shaving your facial hair every morning.


But neither do I.

She goes to the salesman and says, “I’d like to buy this tv good sir.”
He says, “I’m sorry ma’am but I cannot sell to blondes.” Upset the woman leaves

It is the next day and she wears a different outfit with a wig. The woman is sure the salesman won’t recognize her. She says, “I’d like to ... read more

Facial Hare

Sabrina took me to the hospital. After various tests, they said I was in a bad state with cervical dislocation, multiple facial injuries. Also, they will have to amputate my right leg.

Wife: Who is Sabrina?