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Homeopathic Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Karen goes to the doctor not feeling well. Karen: Doctor, I’ve not been feeling well lately. .

Doctor: I’ve looked at your lab reports and I’m afraid I have some bad news.

Karen: Don’t give me this lab nonsense. I believe in homeopathic medicine, faith-based approaches and healing crystals. All my life, they have never failed me. Now will you do things my way or do I need to see the ma...

Did you hear about they guy who forgot to take his homeopathic medicine?

He OD'd.

Homeopathic tablets

Side effects: none

Main effects: none

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Cancer!

Karen: Doctor, I've not been feeling well lately

Doctor: Well, I've looked at your lab reports and I'm afraid I have some bad news...

Karen: Don't give me this lab nonsense, you bureaucratic paper pusher! I don't believe Western medicine anyways! I've been following homeopathic medicin...

This is a homeopathic joke.

The humour is heavily diluted.

Homeopathic remedies should be cheap.

They are bottles of water that used to have some medicine in it. You should be able to pay for it with a wallet that used to have money in it.

The less I rely on homeopathic medicine, the better off I am

I guess it works.

Recently a man died of an overdose of homeopathic medicine...

...he forgot to take his pill.

My friend thinks he’s high from taking homeopathic pills.

I said, “That’s an oxy, moron!”

Did you hear the one about the homeopathic junkie?

Unfortunately, he died of an underdose.

I got a call from the doctor saying my buddy nearly overdosed on his homeopathic medicine.

Turns out he had forgotten to take it.

*Alternate punchline:* His family and several witnesses later disputed this, arguing the actual problem was him nearly drowning.

Where do you take someone who overdoses on homeopathic medicine?

A mental hospital

A 32 year old Florida man has died after overdosing on his homeopathic regimen.

He forgot to take his pills.


Credit to the great James Randi

What did the scientist say after discovering the medicinal content of homeopathic remedies ?

0mg !!!!

Did you hear the story about the girl who tried overdosing on homeopathic pills?

She survived.

An anti-vaxxer got a call from the Doctor.

The doctor said "Your test results are in and I'm afraid it's not good news."

"Nonsense," replied the anti-vaxxer. "I don't trust your pharmaceutical industry. My entire life I relied on homeopathic remedies instead of medication, and the only diagnosis I accept is based on my horoscope."
...

What do you call a homeopathic remedy thought to cure simply because it exists, yet has no purpose nor explanation as to why?

Existential oils

I was trying to save money on my surgery...

In hindsight, I should NOT have chosen the homeopathic anesthesiologist.

The doctor said my illness was terminal

I decided to get a second opinion. The next doctor also said my illness was terminal. Feeling disheartened, i decided to get a third opinion from a homeopathic doctor.

This doctor recommended I take daily mudbaths. Finally relieved, I asked "Thats great! That will cure me??" to which the doct...

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