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Convincing Jokes

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Convincing your girlfriend that she's crazy is called gaslighting and it's a dick move.

Convincing her that she's a robot with artificial intelligence and implanted memories is called bladerunning and it's a Philip K. Dick move.

So this guy tried convincing me he was a ghost.

But i saw right through him.

What does a very convincing communist and a psychopath have in common?

People leave them with big red flags

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a Butterfly in a convincing disguise?

I can’t believe it’s not Butterfly

There were three nurses in a morgue... They entered a room where they had discovered that there was a dead man laying on the bed with a hard-on. The first nurse was very forward and said, "Wow! I have never seen that before, I can't let that go to waste".

After saying this the first nurse sat and rode it.
The 2nd nurse did the same.
The third nurse explained that she couldn't as she was on her period.
After a bit of convincing she eventually rode it.
After 3 minutes the man woke up.
The Nurses said, "What the hell... You were dead a fe...

All these "Don't pay too much for [x]" Wikibuy/Honey ads are really convincing.

They convinced me to download Adblocker.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I tried convincing my roommate to masturbate while hula hooping. He wasn't a fan of the idea

But I think he'll come around.

Someone pretending to be a painter told a very convincing story and stole your Mexican food. What happened?

You’ve been hit by a chili-con-artist

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Convincing someone to have sex is a lot like getting ketchup out of a glass bottle.

It's a lot easier with a knife.

When I moved into my new house, I don't think I appreciated how convincing my countertops were.

I took them for granite.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

After I spend time convincing Flat Earther's that the Earth is in fact a sphere, I give them an orgasm.

You could say I make them come around

What’s the least amount of costume needed to convincingly look like a bear?

Bear Minimum

So a blonde goes to a lying competition

The goal of the competition is to tell the most convincing, outrageous lie. The blonde thinks for days and days over what lie she is going to tell but she is never able to come up with a good one.

On the day of the competition, she walks up on stage, still lacking a good lie. She reaches for ...

John and the Mob Boss

John was serving as a jury member in a high-profile gangster trial. The mob boss's underlings approached John with threats and a bribe:

"There's no way a death sentence will be passed. At worst, it'll be a life sentence." Shaken, John agrees. The trial proceeds, and the jury is sequestered. H...

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