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Conversations Jokes

My wife has an odd way of starting conversations.

She always begin by saying "Hey, are you even listening?"

They were perfect friends, so they had interesting conversations.

So one of them asked, "If you had three cars, would you give me one?"
"Of course, we are friends."
"And if you had three houses, would you give me one?"
"Of course, we are friends."
"And if you had three girlfriends, would you give me one?"
"No."
"Why not?"
"Becaus...

Transcripts of radio conversations of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities

Canadians: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid collision

Americans: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision

Canadians: Negative. Divert your course 15 degrees to the South

Americans: This is the Captain of a US Navy sh...

Why was king Henry the 8th terrible at conversations?

He would always cut people off.

I'm not good with conversations, so I practice talking to large rocks

It makes me boulder

I periodically see my doctor and our conversations go like this...

Doc: your diet isn't great. Don't you think you should try to easy off on the salt?

Me: Na

Doc: you really should. You might develop respiratory issues and have trouble breathing.

Me: O

Doc: and try eating more fruits. They'll give you more vitamins and minerals

Me...

'A strong friendship doesn't need daily conversations'

Due to this quote, my remaining friends vanished.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Conversations are like farts...

... if it's forced, it's probably shit.

My wife told me to stop quoting Backstreet Boys in normal conversations

"Tell me why", I replied

The joke I use to leave uncomfortable conversations

You: Knock knock

Who's there?

You: it's [State your first name]

[First name who?!]

You [insulted]: I can't believe you still don't recognize me after all these years.

[Storm out of the room]

A nun, badly in need of a restroom, walked into a local hooters. The place was hopping with music and load conversations and every once in a while, the lights would go out.

Each time the lights would go out, the place would erupt in cheers.

The nun walked up to the bartender and asked, “may I please use the restroom?”

The bartender replied, “OK, but I must warn you that there is a statue of a naked man in there wearing only a fig leaf.”

“Well, in ...

Guy 1: I have conversations with myself sometimes

Guy 1: yeah, me too

I always like to finish my conversations with a self-deprecating joke...

...like me.

Student and Teacher conversations

Teacher: John, give me a sentence starting with " I ".
John: I is...
Teacher: No, John. Always say, "I am."
John: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."

Teacher: John, how do you spell "crocodile"?
John: "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
Teacher: No, that's wrong
John: Mayb...

A good chef can have conversations with animals

Well, at the very least they should be able to make some chicken stock.

I love conversations about palindromes

You can always have a good back and forth.

What do they call conversations in the bedding business?

Pillow talk.

I love to have deep conversations at 12:59

I love those 1-to-1 conversations

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