UPJOKE
leasecondensesignshortenshrinkpromiseagreementhireconcentratecutreducedeedchokebidrent

Contracts Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Pope contracts a rare terminal illness.

The best specialists were quietly called in from around the world for consultation. After much debate and research, they determined that the only hope to save the Pope's life was for him to have sexual relations with a woman. His advisors were notified and they in turn spoke in confidence with the p...

Prince Charles contracts Corona Virus

All part of the coronation process

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Poets are like terms of service contracts

They use many words and elaborate eloquent language to describe how they are going to fuck you.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man goes to a $10 sex worker and contracts crabs.

When he goes back to complain, the sex worker laughs and says, "What do you expect for ten dollars? Lobster?"

My law firm specializes in grain futures contracts.

Barley Legal

How government contracts work...

Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House in DC:One is from New York , another is from Tennessee and the third, is from
Florida . All three go with a White House official to examine the fence.

The Florida contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measur...

Did you hear about the contracts the Indian restaurant made their employees sign?

They were naan-disclosure agreements

What do you call it when your back spasms from carrying around all the money you made on contracts to detain potential immigrants?

A compensation cramp.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.