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Accessory Jokes

Which dining accessory is most seductive?

The Can-de-la-bra

My friends and I had a competition to see what the most difficult to put on accessory was.

The end result was a tie.

The valedictorian from my high school was convicted yesterday as an accessory to murder.

Everyone always said he would accomplice something.

I asked my English friend what his favourite summer accessory is.

He said, "Clouds."

I introduced my friend to Jessica Fletcher

And got charged with accessory to murder.

Why was the child’s blanket arrested?

For being an accessory to a kid napping.

Earring no tales

Im on my lunch break at work and I notice a co-worker stroll in the lunch room so I offer him a seat. Were talking about the Dallas game, when I notice an earring in his right ear. No big deal, but this guy is pretty conservative with his work attire, so I felt obliged to ask him about his new acces...

What do you call a necklace on a serial killer?

An accessory to murder.

Montana has the best lovers

My favorite jokes about the insane amount of sheep loving that occurs in Montana from when I grew up:

1. What is the hottest selling clothing accessory in Montana? Velcro gloves. *wpsh* *wpsh* *BAaaAah*


2. Why do the mountain men always make love to the sheep on the edge of a clif...

Why was the killer's watch arrested?

Because it was proven to be accessory to murder.

What did the watch say when the necklace, earrings, purse and ring killed the shoes?

I won't be an accessory to this.

Announcing the new Built-in Orderly Organized Knowledge device, otherwise known as the BOOK.

It's a revolutionary breakthrough in technology: no wires, no electric circuits, no batteries, nothing to be connected or switched on. It's so easy to use even a child can operate it. Just lift its cover. Compact and portable, it can be used anywhere -- even sitting in an armchair by the fire -- yet...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Les Mis Joke (from r/Lesmiserables Joke by u/shepy66

Ok, so there were these two guys at a high school, a really weird, lame, goth kid from France, and a really popular rich kid named John. Nobody actually new the French kid's name, but he was strange enough for people to make up their own. Creep, Emo, Lame-ass, Weirdo, and plenty of other (and much w...

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