My friends and I had a competition to see what the most difficult to put on accessory was.

The end result was a tie.

Which dining accessory is most seductive?

The Can-de-la-bra

Earring no tales

Im on my lunch break at work and I notice a co-worker stroll in the lunch room so I offer him a seat. Were talking about the Dallas game, when I notice an earring in his right ear. No big deal, but this guy is pretty conservative with his work attire, so I felt obliged to ask him about his new acces...

The valedictorian from my high school was convicted yesterday as an accessory to murder.

Everyone always said he would accomplice something.

Announcing the new Built-in Orderly Organized Knowledge device, otherwise known as the BOOK.

It's a revolutionary breakthrough in technology: no wires, no electric circuits, no batteries, nothing to be connected or switched on. It's so easy to use even a child can operate it. Just lift its cover. Compact and portable, it can be used anywhere -- even sitting in an armchair by the fire -- yet...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between a nude and a guitar accessory shaped like a penis?

One's a dick pic.

The other's a dick pick.

I asked my English friend what his favourite summer accessory is.

He said, "Clouds."

Montana has the best lovers

My favorite jokes about the insane amount of sheep loving that occurs in Montana from when I grew up:

1. What is the hottest selling clothing accessory in Montana? Velcro gloves. *wpsh* *wpsh* *BAaaAah*


2. Why do the mountain men always make love to the sheep on the edge of a clif...

"Alright Mike Tyson, to win $100,000 you need to name a fashion accessory and a place in Australia."

Mike Tyson: "That's easy. It's Perth!"

Why was the child's blanket arrested?

For being an accessory to a kid napping.

What do you call a necklace on a serial killer?

An accessory to murder.

Why was the killer's watch arrested?

Because it was proven to be accessory to murder.

What did the watch say when the necklace, earrings, purse and ring killed the shoes?

I won't be an accessory to this.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Les Mis Joke (from r/Lesmiserables Joke by u/shepy66

Ok, so there were these two guys at a high school, a really weird, lame, goth kid from France, and a really popular rich kid named John. Nobody actually new the French kid's name, but he was strange enough for people to make up their own. Creep, Emo, Lame-ass, Weirdo, and plenty of other (and much w...

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