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Mislead Jokes

Condom expiration dates are so misleading

I get sick regardless of when I eat them.

Statistics can be misleading.

For example, 5 out of 6 people think Russian roulette is perfectly safe.

Misleading title

Bad punchline

Why did Quentin Tarantino regret directing a Ninja Turtles movie?

Because he felt the villains being called "The Foot Clan" was very misleading.

Have you noticed how misleading modern smartphone deals are?

They're all so phoney.

Dyson

**I'm writing this from the hospital, I'm going to be OK, but a word of warning, the Dyson ball cleaner has a very misleading name.**

I'm really good at misleading people.

Or am I?

Just got back from the ER and I'd like to reassure you guys that I'll be all right after a couple of days on pain relief.

But I just thought I'd warn you that the Dyson ball cleaner is really misleadingly named.

Where do the world's most misleading people go to commit suicide?

Sahr Chasm

What do we call the process which usually happens after a company deliberately sells a misleading product to its customers?

DLC.

I'll never use that dictionary again...

The definition it gave for "obfuscate" was confusing and misleading.

I’m writing this from the hospital. Don’t worry, the doctors say I should be fine, but I must warn you -

.. the Dyson ball cleaner has a very misleading name!

I visited the National Air and Space Museum.

I believe the title is misleading because it's actually full of stuff.

My friend told me I could make six figures as a sculptor

He was technically right, but I still feel mislead

Johnny became a mailman after hearing how they always slept with women as part of the punchline of jokes. He figured he’d tell the jokes to mothers as he dropped of the mail and then sleep with them. He dropped off package after package and told joke after joke, but no mothers ever slept with him.

One day he asked a mother if he’s been mislead by the jokes. Maybe mother’s really never slept with the mailmen and the jokes were misleading.

The mother said, “oh honey, it’s not the jokes, it your delivery.”

True, but not true?

I read an article that claimed 1 in 5 statements are false or misleading, but the other 4 statements in the same article seemed pretty accurate to me, so I am fairly certain that statistic is wrong.

A blonde buys a chainsaw

A blonde buys a chainsaw to cut down some trees in her backyard and gets the one that sais "Guaranteed to cut down 100 trees a day" on the box.
"Great" she thinks "I only want to cut down 5 trees, but I bet this one will get the job done in no time at all!"


Three days later returns...

There are four types of posts on Reddit

Helpful,
Unhelpful
And misleading...

I saw a sign outside IKEA .

It said, "Huge Furniture Sale!"

So I went inside and looked around. Unimpressed, I found a sales assistant. "Your sign outside is misleading."


"What do you mean, sir?" he asked.

"Well," I replied, "None of this furniture on sale is particularly huge."

Been sitting in the ER all night. Don’t really want to go into details but...

The “Dyson Ball Cleaner” has a very misleading product name

"What's your biggest weakness?"

"I often mislead people."


"Really?"


"No."

My choir instructor once told me that the wider your thumbnail is the deeper your voice. I came to believe it to be true until one day I met a gentleman with damn near rectangular nails. To my dismay he ended up having a very high voice.

There's really nothing worse than a misleading thumbnail.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Watched the film "Scarface" last night.

Quite a misleading title, I mean the bloke knew fuck all about scarfs

Nice joke that doubles as a haiku.

I went to a zoo.

There was just one dog on show.

It was a shih tzu.

EDIT:
A lot of people are complaining that it's not a haiku. I read shih tzu as 1 syllable, so my mistake. Sorry for the misleading title!

Don't trust the farmer! The poultry he advertised was far better than the produce he sold!

When I challenged him, he only apologised for giving me a misleading egg-sample.

Old Jewish joke

A woman walks past a store with a display of watches in front. The woman, having broke her watch recently, goes inside. She asks the man behind the counter, "hey, do you repair watches?"
The man says "No, I'm a Mohel."
She asks, incredulously, "then why do you have watches displayed in front? ...

Two men are hiking...

Two men are hiking in a forest when suddenly, the other man falls down. "Oh my God!", his friend exclaims. He quickly dials 911. He gets connected to an operater. "This is 911, what is your emergency?" "Me and my buddy were hiking and he suddenly fell down! His eyes are glazed and he isn't moving!" ...

WonderWoman has the biggest opening ever

Is a misleading title

There's 3 things I hate about r/jokes

people who think they know the punchline and misleading titles.

Just Spent 3 hours in the Emergency room......

.... the Dyson Ball vacuum has a VERY misleading name........

I called into a suicide hotline

And they tried to save my life, talk about misleading.

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