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Earthworm Jokes

One day Grandpa was watching Junior playing with an earthworm..

Grandpa said, " Junior, I will give you $10 if you can put that worm back down in its little hole."

The kids thinks and thinks, then runs into the house and returns with a can of hair spray. He sprays the worm all over and as it gets stiff he stuffs it down into the hole. Grandpa gives th...

Earthworm

A little boy and his grandfather are raking leaves in the yard. The little boy sees an earthworm trying to get back into its hole. He says, "Grandpa, I bet I can put that worm back in that hole." The grandfather replies, "I'll bet you five dollars you can't. It's too wiggly and limp to put back in t...

How did the blonde kill an earthworm?

She buried it alive.

Two earthworms met in a cemetery...

They made love in Dead Earnest.

What type of math do earthworms excel at?

Annelidic Geometry

Four earthworms are placed in four separate test tubes:

* 1st in beer
* 2nd in wine
* 3rd in whiskey
* 4th in mineral water

The next day, the teacher shows the results:

* The 1st worm in beer, dead.
* The 2nd in wine, dead.
* The 3rd in whiskey, dead.
* The 4th in mineral water, alive and healthy.

The teacher asks t...

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There was a kid that was a fussy eater.

There was a kid that was a fussy eater. His father always tried to give him different foods, but he usually avoided the food, or complained that it wasn't to his expectations, making everyone really preoccupied with his health.

Finally, the father asked what he really wanted to eat, and then...

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A pastor takes four earthworms and places them in different jars at the start of the service.

Each jar contained something different, the first had alcohol, the second had cigerette butts and smoke, the third had all sorts of sweets, and the forth had good, clean dirt. At the end of the service, the pastor pulls the jars back out and removes the worm from the alcohol. "Dead!" exclaims the ...

Father Instructs

He sat down very seriously in front of his son, which the son realized meant one of those boring lectures was imminent.

Father produced a brandy snifter, into which he dropped an earthworm. He then took up a bottle of tequila and filled the glass with it.

The worm quickly dissolved. ...

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An Alcoholics Anonymous meeting takes place. The presenter completes a demonstration.

He brings out two glasses, a bottle of whiskey, a bottle of water and an earthworm. He pours one glass with water and the other with whiskey. He then drops the worm into the bottle of water, where it wriggles around for a little while, but is ok.

He then picks it up and drops it into the whi...

Friends on a fishing trip

Jack and Jim went wishing, they only had corn as bait, so Jack told Jim to go behind a big tree to dig up some earthworms because they didn't catch any fish. So Jim goes over to the tree and starts diging for the earthworms, and Jack got something on his hook, he reels the fish in and to his surpris...

A grandfather and his young grandson were out walking one morning after a light rain...

They notice an earthworm on the ground having just crawled out of its burrow.

“Tell you what- if you can figure out a way to get that worm back in its hole, I’ll give you $10.”

The kid thinks for a second and tells his grandpa he’ll be right back.

He returns a few minutes lat...

A father had promised his two young sons he would take them on a fishing trip

The boys were digging for fishing bait in their parents' garden. Uncovering a many legged creature, one of the boys proudly dangled it before his Father.

"No, son, he won't do for bait" his Father said. "He's not an earthworm".

"He's not?" the boy asked, his eyes wide. "What planet i...

Grandpa was sitting on the porch...

...when he saw little Timmy jamming the earthworm back to its hole.
Grandpa: Silly Timmy, you cant put that worm back inside son.
Timmy: Bet you $50 i can grandpa.
Grandpa: Sure, its a deal!

So little Timmy gets hairspray from the house and sprayed it all over the worm, the worm stif...

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A man runs out of gas while driving through rural Iowa...

His cell phone dead, he walks along the highway until he finds a farmhouse. He knocks on the door, and an old farmer offers to fuel up his car after they finish dinner, which he kindly invites him to.

While enjoying his meatloaf and company of the farmer and his wife, the man looks out the wi...

Grand dad...

One morning after a fresh rain, a grandfather and his young grandson are walking the property. The grandfather looks down and sees an earthworm emerging from its burrow.

"Okay, sonny, here's a challenge: If you can figure out a way to get that worm back inside his burrow, I'll give you $5.00...

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FrankenTarzan

One day, Mighty Tarzan was swinging through the jungle, and crashed into a tree, fell, and hit every branch on the way down. He was just able to crawl to the local witch doctor's hut, and blacked out at the door.

When he awoke, the witch doctor said, "Aah, you're awake!" "What happen doctor?...

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A priest decides to show some concrete examples about a sinful life during sunday mass.

He brings 4 closed jars. The first jar is filled with alcohol. The second one with cigarette smoke. The third one with sperm. The fourth one with clean water.

Inside each jar, there is an earthworm.

The priest starts talking about the examples of sinful life and shows each jar to the p...

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