An airline pilot was scheduled to take a flight from New York to Los Angeles. The weather was too bad in New York to allow his usual on time departure. The weather in New York finally cleared and the pilot asked for his departure clearance. He was very dismayed to hear that he had another delay due ...
Right before colliding with an iceberg...
The captain of the Titanic got ready to make an announcement: "Good evening ladies and gentlemen. Fun fact, this ship weighs about 52 thousand kilograms. I'm gonna let that sink in..."
New article about an asteroid colliding with Earth
I couldn't read it... Hits too close to home.
While driving home I heard on the radio that convicts had escaped a prisoner transport after colliding with a concrete truck.
Authorities say to be on the lookout for hardened criminals.
A Philosopher, a Physicist and a Common Man
A Philosopher, a Physicist and a Common Man stand around a piece of fruit.
When asked what the fruit is, the philosopher says “We can never know what this piece of fruit truly is. We assume, through wisdom, that the form of the fruit is closest to our perceptions of the fruit”.
A son was walking along side his father
While walking, the kid was looking at his phone and didn’t notice a pole in front of him, which resulted with him colliding with the pole.
The father said, “That was some a”pole”ing behavior” and began to laugh at his own joke
The son, being slightly irritated, snapped back at the fath...
Back Alley Memories
I was reminded me of an old joke from another Reddit post: A very elderly couple is seated at a table in a bar. The woman looks over to the man, holding his hand and says, "Do you remember meeting me for the first time right here 50 years ago?" The husband replies, "Yes dear." The wi...
Some folks see me as a know-it-all. I'm not, but I have a reasonable memory, and it got me on a game show, once.
The television game show was being recorded - they do a whole week at a time, and this was the wrap-up. I was in the hot seat for the last big question.
The host turned to m...
A quick math question
Alright, so here's quick math question for ya:
So there's two trains. The first train is traveling at *exactly* 90 miles per hour from Plotopia heading due west. There is a clown standing atop it. He is holding a grenade. (And yes, his billowing pants and rainbow-dyed afro-wig *are* affecting...
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
Two men are standing on the roof of a tall building.
The first man says, “You know about the crazy wind currents in this part of the city?”
“Not really,” says the second man.
“Oh, you’re going to love this. The upward currents here are so strong that if you jump off this building, they’ll push you all the way back up.”