Collie Jokes

# At the end of the day, a Border Collie reported back to the rancher, "All 50 sheep accounted for, boss!"

# "Wait, I only have 48 sheep!" he replied.

# "I know," said the dog, "but I rounded them up."

After it ripped my arm off, it ran for help

A nearby sheep piped up 'YOU don't work hard, all you do is boss US around.' 'WHAT DID YOU SAY' shouted the collie. 'You herd me' the sheep replied






Edit: thanks for all the upvotes, this is my first post ever on here!!!

Edit 2: removed emoji

Suddenly there is a loud noise from the sheep area.

Tom the border collie jumps up asking, "Did you hear that from the sheep, Boomer?"

Boomer the Collie: "Of course I herd them."

A dog that is smart enough to bury the bodies.

“My owner is mean, my girlfriend ran away with a schnauzer and I’m as jittery as a cat.” “Why don’t you go see a psychiatrist?” suggests the collie. “I can’t,” says the poodle. “I’m not allowed on the couch.”

I mean, he completely hated the books

...then my parents fed him too much and he became husky.

A Melan-Collie.

What do you call a sadder dog ?

A Chi-Waah-Waah.

You know what dogs *are* inbred?

Hotdogs.

A broader collie

He’s a Bordeaux Collie



And yes, he paws it himself...

collie-flower

A guy walks into a bar and orders a glass of red wine. The bartender's therapy dog leaps to his feet, races across the room, runs down the stairs to the wine cellar and within moments returns with a lovely bottle of cabernet savignon in his jaws which he drops gently at the bartender's feet. "Wow, t... read more

A farmer asks his Border Collie if he wants to hear a joke.

The dog replies yes.

The farmer says: There's a flock of sheep...

The Dog says: Herd it...

*Collie* of Duty

Haley's Lassie

A Bulldog, Doberman, and Chihuahua walk into a bar looking for a cool drink. A beautiful female Collie struts by and stops at their table, saying: "Whoever can say liver and cheese in a sentence can have me."

So the Doberman says, "I love liver and cheese!" The Collie replies: "That's not go... read more

He seems kind of melon-collie

Ever since then he's been a little melon collie.

but I was sold a herding dog for my cantaloupe patch. He's a little melon-collie.

She's a watered melancholy watermelon collie.

Collie-flowers

I'm gonna go shoot myself in the head now

A Melon-collie!

A Melon Collie.




...I'll get my coat.

A melon-collie.

A Border Collie

Border Collies!

I just came up with this after not sleeping for 30+ hours. Sorry for the cheesy goodness.

Well our worst fears have been confirmed today. My wife is allergic to our pet collie. Now I know this isn't a re-homing site and some of you may take umbrage with this not being a interesting political post, but could someone please find a little place in their heart to help me out. She is reasonab... read more

Very excitedly, the collie asks the poodle: "Heys. You wanna hear a joke? I just made this up at the hotdog stand waiting with my master.".

The poodle smiles: "Sure thing, shoot."

The collie smirks his eyes and proudly tells his joke: "How many dachshunds does it take to make a hotdog?... read more

Two dogs and a cat appeared in heaven and were seeking admission. God Himself decided to hear their appeal from His judgement seat.

The St Bernard said "I was a valued rescue dog and helped find those nuns after the avalanche."

"Fine then, you're in," said God.

The collie said, ... read more

Melon-Collie.

... and he comes across a pool of toxic waste.
Absolutely shocked at this sight, he dropped his groceries and let go of his dog. His dog wasn't the smartest, and it jumped into the toxic waste. The boy's groceries also fell in. After finally recovering, the boy called the cops to report both h... read more