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Apathetic Jokes

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I'm both asexual and apathetic

I don't give a fuck.

My wife left me because I am "ignorant" and "apathetic".

I don't know what that means, but I don't care.

Why are apathetic teachers the best?

Because they don't give an F.

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A young man walks into a bar looking annoyed and sullen. "What's the matter, son?" asks an older patron.

The young man sighs.

"I have a girlfriend who's very nice and very pretty."

"So? What's the problem?"

"Actually, she's not just pretty. She's the most beautiful woman I've ever met in my life."

"That sounds great."

"Not only that, she also adores me and wants to b...

The frustrated boss asked his employee, "Are you stupid or just apathetic‽"

He replied, "I don't know, and I don't care!"

Did you hear about the apathetic man who died?

It was a shrug overdose

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My ex accused me of being apathetic.

I told her I don't give a shit.

kinda weird that my wife thinks I'm apathetic

I never knew that the "a" was silent though

What does the apathetic pastry Chef say?

I doughnut care.

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Just been to an apathetic Japanese restaurant.

No forks were given.

I once made an apathetic club.

No one cared enough to attend the meetings, though.

Did you hear about the new drug that makes its users apathetic?

It's called Crystal Meh

I blame my parents for my apathetic attitude...

... but I don't care.

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A man recently separated with his wife is at the local bar drowning his sorrows when a gorgeous young woman walks in.

She makes her way over to the bar.

"What'll it be, miss?" The bartender asks.
"Tequila." Says the woman.

As the bartender pours her drink she notices the guy sitting at the other end of the bar. 'Handsome' she thinks to herself as she turns to the bartender laying out t...

A woman in her forties tells her doctor, “My husband has completely lost interest in me”.

He gives her a bottle of drops, and tells her: “Put three drops in his dinner, no more, no less”.

She then goes home and makes dumplings. Right before the time he usually gets home from work, she puts three drops in, but then remembers how apathetic he is, and goes for the whole bottle.
...

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With great enthusiasm and singing a song

Reagan visits the USSR and is amazed by the capital construction he has seen.

Reagan: "How do you manage to build structures like this? Your logistics is shit, you have no technology and people are apathetic."

Gorbachev: "Soviet people built it all with great enthusiasm and while singi...

A cornea, a female sheep, a tire and a nerd walk into a haunted house

The cornea bounces in first, making plenty of noise all throughout the house, and leaves terrified and satisfied.

The female sheep prances in next, and terrified bleeting can be heard by all, before she leaves in fear.

The tire rolls in next, making loud, frightened rubbery noises insi...

An old man walks up to a couple of stoners smoking a joint, and says,

“Don’t you know that smoking weed makes you ignorant and apathetic?”

One of the potheads turns to him and replies, “I don’t know, and I don’t care.”

A cop catches a drunk urinating in public

A cop walks up to a drunk peeing out in public he then says "you know what your doing is illegal right?" to which the man replies with "so?" Noticing the man is heavily intoxicated the cop asks "Sir do you know who I am?" The drunk replies with an apathetic "No" fed up the cop says "Sir you're obvio...

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