I'm gonna start a taxi company and employ only lovable, silly, lighthearted drivers.

I'll call it Goober

So a poor man walks into a pet store

Hoping to buy a parrot. He looks at a whole bunch of parrots, but all of them are out of his price range. He asks one of the employees if they have a cheaper parrot.

“Actually, we have one parrot that nobody has wanted to buy. His name is Chet and he very lovable, but he’s only got one leg.”...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

This is a long one that requires audience interaction. It’s always given me great return.

To preface this joke: you may alter the story as you see fit. Make it personal and use elements of your real life to make this a convincing story. The only key points that must be consistent will be highlighted in the text. The audience interaction will be italicized.

_________

The Cat...

So an elephant was taking a shower...

So an elephant was taking a shower and he happened to notice his roommate the ant walk by.
So the elephant calls out "Hey Ant, could you get me a towel?"
The ant stops, turns to the elephant and says "What do I look like, a refrigerator?"

I guess I missed my cakeday but I wanted to sha...

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