This shutdown is bad for everyone in the service industry, but it especially sucks for men
We're losing $1 for every $.79 women are losing
Why hasn’t baseball returned from covid shutdown?
They are unable to test all the bats
President Donald Trump and his motorcade are cruising along a country road to Florida after the government shutdown. Suddenly they hit a pig, killing it instantly.
Trump tells his chief of staff to go up to the farmhouse and explain to the owners what had happened. About one hour later Trump sees him staggering back to the car with a bottle of wine in one hand, a cigar in the other and his clothes all ripped and torn.
"What happened to you?" asked Trump...
Breaking News: Government shutdown ends as Bill Gates has agreed to pay for Trump's wall
On the condition that he gets to install windows.
Today, Senate Republicans declared that they see no path forward to end the government shutdown
In other words: they've hit a wall
A joke about a shutdown coin factory.
It makes no cents.
Trump wants the shutdown to go on for as long as possible.
He thinks that way we won't be able to hold another election.
They’re going to unplug me if this government shutdown continues any longer
Read my name
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
During the US Government shutdown, obviously the US Mail is still working...
...because people keep posting the same shit again and again.
No need to prolong the government shutdown. We've already built a wall.
Day 32 of the government shutdown
That makes it just over two years since we’ve had a functioning government
No one knows more about shutdowns than Trump
Just look at all of his failed businesses
Ajit Pai made inquiries about how a government shutdown could affect him
but Verizon assures him he'll still get paid
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
Did you hear they had to shutdown Japan's first virtual reality porn exhibition?
Too many people came.
Ok, here's a really bad one
This one I've herd visiting Kiev before the shutdown:
The guy walks in a brothel and asks a hostess: - Hi, I need a girl - Ok, it's 50$ for 1 hour - I don't have that much, do you have anything for 10$? - Yes, let's go outside
They go around the brothel, a hostess places a ...
Remember in Monopoly, when some insufferable kids couldn't agree who was banker, they'd refuse to play completely?
Welcome to the shutdown...
If Trump's hair sees it's shadow...
the government shutdown will last for 6 more weeks.
Does anyone know if Donald Trump saw his shadow this morning?
Six more weeks of government shutdown coming if he did!
I hate when a generation refuses to work and still expect to receive government checks
Those baby boomers in Congress sure are entitled snowflakes
I know the shutdown is done, but I think this joke is funny and I made it up myself.
It's official Trump's inauguration date is now a National Holiday.
At least I assume so because the government shutdown for it.
I read that the Large Magellanic Cloud is going to collide with the Milky Way in 2 billion years.
Maybe the government shutdown will be over by then.
Your mamas so fat...
She could end the government shutdown if we put her on the US/Mexico Border.
A man dies and goes to hell. Once there, he finds that there is a different hell for each country, so he tries to seek out the least painful one.
At the door to German Hell, he is told: "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the German devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day."
He does not like the sound of that, so he checks out British Hell, Russia...
If I had a dollar for every time somebody told me , “don’t worry, you’ll all get back pay”
I’d still be in a financial hardship due to the government shutdown.
A 747 just landed at Heathrow Airport in London
A 747 just landed at Heathrow Airport in London. After the captain shutdown the engines you could still hear the whining.