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Climaxed Jokes

I found an enormous ravine filled with so many precious metals, I climaxed.

It was a huge ore chasm.

My girlfriend and I played footsie at the family table and I climaxed.

Turns out it was her grandmother. Guess I got off on the wrong foot.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy goes to the doctor because his wife can't orgasm.

The doctor explains his wife is probably over heating and needs to find a way to cool her down.

The guy goes to his best friend and asks him to waft a towel over him and his wife while they have sex to keep them cool.

The friend agrees and the next day he shows up and wafts the towel w...

My girlfriend climaxed at the season finale of Rick and Morty

She also climaxed at the finale of Iron fist.

And again at the season Finale of Game of Thrones.

She keeps coming to conclusions

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I was having sex last night and had an epiphany right before I climaxed...

I guess you could say that I came to a realisation.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

After reading about Zelensky's massive balls all over the internet Putin calls up Zelensky to prove him wrong. They decide to meet up in Ukraine to put it to a test.

"He, who ejaculates most wins!" said Putin. Zelensky agreed.

First up, it was Putin. He began stroking his tiny member and after a few seconds, out came his seeds.

"100 millilitres!!" shouted someone from the back.

"Piss off, Trump. It's just 10 millilitres" said Biden who h...

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A husband bought his wife a new sex toy for her birthday...

and it was voice operated. It was newest model of Vibro-dick: self-propelled and voice activated.

He brought it home to his from the sex shop in a gift wrapped box with a bow. She unwrapped the box and was surprised.

"Honey, I've never used a sex toy. I don't know if I'll like."
...

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Great Power and Great Responsibility were having sex.

Both climaxed together.

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A Bus Full of Nuns Crashes...

(long) and they all die. In Heaven, they're all lined up outside the pearly gates while St. Peter checks each on in. "When you took your vows, you vowed that you were married to Christ and no other," says St. Peter. "Because of this, I need to ask you if you've ever had physical contact with a pe...

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Two Jewish men are talking.

Shlomo: Oh Haim, you wouldn’t believe it. Last night, the wife and I were about to have sex, and I prematurely ejaculated. How embarrassing!

Haim: Oh no, what happened?

Shlomo: She comes home after shopping and says she got new lingerie. She says I should sit right there and she will...

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