Cleansed Jokes

“Very well, my child,” says the priest, as he leads the man into the confession booth, “Tell me about your sins.”

“Well, Father,” says the guy, “On Monday, I was at my girlfriend’s house, and, well… the two of us alone, the house empty… I sinned, Father.”

“Don’t worry, child,” says the... read more

"Welcome to heaven, dear sisters. God awaits you inside. But in order to be able to enter heaven, you have to be cleansed of your sins first."

Then the angel summoned a huge bowl with some kind of holy, luminous water in it and called the first nun.

"Have you got any sins to be cleanse... read more

A terrible bus crash kills 4 Nuns.

They arrive at the Pearly Gates and are greeted by St Peter.

St Peter says: "Before you enter Heaven, you must be cleansed of sin".

The first Nun, Sister Josephine, raises her hand and says "I have seen with my own eyes a naked penis".

S... read more

They arrive at the pearly gates to see a bleary eyed St. Peter sitting there with a list of all their names. "Sister Martha," he calls out. "Please come here." She comes out of the group and they begin to form a line. St. Peter continued, "You as a nun understood your vow of chastity and what that e... read more

Goes over a cliff, killing all on board.

Being pious nuns, all are transported directly to the pearly gates where St. Peter, standing beside a font, is awaiting them.

He says to the nuns, "Our heavenly Father awaits you on the other side of the gates to welcome you to the eternal parad... read more

Three young women who had been best friends for their entire lives all decided to join a convent and become nuns. After going through all of the preparatory courses, the young women are ready to take their final vows.

After an elaborate and beautiful ceremony, the priest calls the young wome... read more

I'm from the UK. My best mate from uni moved to Japan a few years ago for work, he's settled down there and married a nice Japanese girl. Whenever he's been back over, he's always invited me to come and visit them, and this year I finally had the chance.

The flight over was great, the ride fr... read more