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Clare Jokes

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Putin is sitting in his office when his telephone rings

"Hallo, Mr. Putin!" a heavily accented voice said. "This is Paddy Down at the Harp Pub in County Clare, Ireland. I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on ya!"


"Well, Paddy," Putin replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?"


"Right...

A biologist, a logician, and a philosopher are driving down the road in County Clare...

They see the profile of a brown cow grazing in an adjacent meadow. The biologist says, "Look, Ireland has brown cows!" The logician says, "No, sir, all we can say for certain is that Ireland has at least one brown cow." The philosopher retorts, "Alas, my fair companions, all we can know for certain ...

My uncle went on holiday to Ireland, but didn't have enough time to go to Clare.

He really wanted to see Moher

An Irishman was drinking in a bar in London......

.......when he gets a call on his cell phone. He orders drinks for everybody in the bar as he announces his wife has just produced a typical Irish baby boy weighing 25 pounds.

Nobody can believe that any new baby can weigh in at 25 pounds, but the man just shrugs, "That's about average up our...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Irish painter by the name of Murphy,

while not a brilliant scholar, was a gifted portrait artist.

Over a short number of years, his fame grew and soon people from all over Ireland were coming to the town of Miltown Malbay, in County Clare, to get him to paint their likenesses.

One day, a beautiful young English woman ar...

Irish guy in a pub...

Irish guy named Shaughn walks into a bar in County Clare. He orders three beers, sits by himself, and drinks them. The pub keeper thinks it is strange but doesn't say anything. He does this every afternoon for the next 6 months. He comes in, orders three beers, and drinks them by himself. Finally th...

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