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Chipped Jokes

The wife told me the cat had to be chipped.

I only have a nine iron but i still got it over the shed

A man goes to confessional and tells the priest, "Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. I took the Lord's name in vain while golfing."

"I understand, my son," the priest says. "I play the game as well, and it can be frustrating. What happened?"

"Well," the man says, "I hit my drive on the fifteenth green and it sliced to the right, into the trees."

"Was that when you did it?" The priest asked.

"No, the ball b...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

On his 90th birthday his friends chipped in to hire a hooker.

On his 90th birthday his friends chipped in to hire a hooker.

She danced seductively, then sat on his lap.

She whispered in his ear "I'm here to give you super sex!"

The man thought about it and then asked her "what kind of soup?"

I had my dog chipped yesterday.

He's not really much faster.

Ever since these new chipped debit cards came out.

I've never had so many women say "ok now put it in."

A new law in Korea stating all dogs must be chipped is causing mayhem.

Most people prefer them mashed.

What did the beaver say when he chipped his tooth?

Dam it!

When you have an “I hate my job” day…

Try this out:

Stop at your local pharmacy, goto their thermometer section and purchase a rectal thermometer made by Johnson and Johnson.

Be very sure you get this brand.

When you get home, lock the doors, draw the blinds, change into your comfy clothes, sit on your favourite ch...

How do you know when a blonde has been using a vibrator?

Her teeth are chipped

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