UPJOKE
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Childproof Jokes

My wife said we needed to childproof our upright piano, so it wouldn't fall over on our toddler...

... I said that was a good idea, because I wouldn't want a flat minor.

My wife and I childproofed our home yesterday.

It was a total waste of money. They all got back in within minutes.

I childproofed the house.

But they keep getting in anyway.

My 10 year old just opened a childproof pill bottle

“Welcome to adulthood, son.”

Last weekend I childproofed my home,

And my kids still found a way in.

Andre 3000 went camping...

...as he finishes setting up his tent, a park ranger rolls up to warn him about bear activity nearby. Specifically, an unusually intelligent and persistent bear that has a taste for 90's musicians. Andre thanks the ranger for his concern, and assures him that he'll take all the necessary precautions...

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