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Fearful father finds an envelope

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then, he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, 'Dad'. With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter, with trembling hands.
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What is the most fearful disease for a fruit?

Lemon-AIDs

What do you call an ape that's both extremely frugal and fearful?

A cheap pansy

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