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Cataracts Jokes

Around 80% of all Asians that move to America get cataracts.

The remaining 20% usually buy chevrorets, rexus, or rincoln. Some even get rand lover.

I heard that cataracts are the third leading cause of blindness...

... the first two being politics and religion.

Have you heard like 50% of Chinese people have cataracts?

Yeah, I guess the other 50% drive "rincoln towncah".

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They say 3 out 10 people in Japan have cataracts.

The rest drive Toyota or Mitsubishis!

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Cataracts are extremely rare in Japan.

Chevrorets and Rincolns, on the other hand, are quite common.

TIL 50% of South Koreans have cataracts.

The other 50% drive Rincolns.

9/10 Asians have cataracts

The 10th one has a Mercedes

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TIL 20% of japanese people have cataracts

18% have chevrorets

15% have rincolns

Did u know 70% of Chinese optometrists have cataracts

The other 30 drive Rincolns

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Fact: 50% of Japanese have Cataracts

The other 50% drive Rexus and Chrysrer

Did you hear about the Ophthalmologist who told his patient that he has cataracts?

It was an eye-opening experience for him.

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I heard most Japanese men have cataracts

It's not true, some of them drive Rincons

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I told my boss

That I wasn’t coming into the office today because I’ve got a bad flare up of occupational rectal cataracts.

She asked “What the hell is that? Does it hurt?”

I said “Not really, I just can’t see my ass coming in tomorrow!”

A Lady Threatened to Sue Her Husband's Doctor

A lady threatened to sue her husband's doctor because after he recovered from surgery he had performance issues in bed. She claimed that he could no longer get it up and therefore could no longer please her.

The Doctor responded with "How's that my fault? I only removed his cataracts."

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Did you know 67% of all Japanese opthalmologists have Cataracts?

30% rike Rexuses and only 3% drive Rincoln Towncars.

The three sons of an old woman return home after years seeking their fortune

The three sons of an old woman return home after years seeking their fortunes.

They make merry and have dinner together. And before leaving, they hand their mother gifts.

The eldest son gifts his mother the deed to a massive palatial chateau in the French Riviera.

The middle son...

Optometrist

After several months of “gentle encouragement” from my partner, I finally went to see the eye doctor.

First she did a pressure test, blowing a puff of air into each eye and carefully observing my responses on a monitor.
Then she examined each eye with the little hand-held lights.

Th...

A man takes his Great Dane to the vet

The vet picks the dog up and inspects him and says to the man.
“Sir, your dog has cataracts and I will have to put him down”
The man says “You have to put my dog down for cataracts!?!?”
The vet replies “ Oh no he`s just very heavy”

A group of seniors were sitting at a table together at Starbucks, discussing their ailments.

"My arms have got so weak I can hardly lift this cup of coffee," said one.

"Yes, I know," said another. "My cataracts are so bad; I can't even see my coffee."

"I couldn't even mark an 'X' at election time because my hands are so crippled," volunteered a third.

"What? Speak up! W...

As my grandfather once said...

It's so foggy out here, I can't see through my cataracts.

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An elderly asian man gets into a car accident and has to re-do his eye exam for the DMV.

He fails, and goes to the doctor. While examining him, the doctor says "well, I can see the problem here. You have cataracts." The old man responds, "I don't have cataract! I have rincoln continental!"

Two girl twins are born. One is named Skye after her perfect blue eyes

The other has cataracts, so was called Claudia

An old Chinese lady goes to see the eye doctor...

The optometrist gives her the regular eye exam then proceeds to do a few more tests because of her advanced age. After peering through one of his instruments into her eyes, he says "Well ma'am, I'm sorry to tell you this, but you've got cataracts." To which the Chinese woman replied, "No cataracts, ...

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An asian man goes to the eye doctor...

Doctor: "Sir you have cataracts."
Asian man: "No I drive a honda."

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A White guy, a Black guy and a Mexican are out in a boat fishing

when a big storm blows up and threatens to sink them.

The men begin praying, and the storm disappears.  They look up and see Jesus walking towards them across the water.  Jesus says to the men, "Because of your faith, I will heal each of you."

Jesus turns to the White...

Mr Wong goes to the Eye Doctor...

Mr Wong goes to the Eye Doctor. He tells the Dr "I cannot see where." The doctor gives him an exam and says "Mr Wong, I know what your problem is. You have cataracts." Mr Wong replies angrily "No sir!! I drive Rincoln Continentor!!"

My Pastor told me this one and it really hit home...

Some older people at a nursing home are complaining about getting older. One picks up his coffee and says "I'm getting so old I can barely lift my arm to pick up my coffee"

Someone sitting next to him says, "My cataracts is so bad I can barely see my coffee."

Someone behind them then s...

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