UPJOKE
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If U.S. taxpayers had to pay maternity leave....

The right to abortion would be the first amendment.

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An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar

The first mathematician orders a beer

The second orders half a beer

"I don't serve half-beers" the bartender replies

"Excuse me?" Asks mathematician #2

"What kind of bar serves half-beers?" The bartender rema...

We, the taxpayers, keep paying to send Trump on very expensive trips overseas.

It might be worth it too, except he keeps coming back.

Donald Trump claimed his trips to Mar-a Lago didn’t cost the taxpayers anything.

He paid for them with Frequent Liar miles.

(Thanks, father in law)

If you owe a bank a hundred dollars, you have a problem.

If you owe the bank a million dollars, the bank has a problem.

If you owe the bank several hundred million dollars, that's the taxpayers' problem.

Prince Harry takes Meghan on a date. Who pays?

The taxpayers.

Yo mama's so fat...

Yo mama's so fat that she costs taxpayers millions of dollars each year because she's part of the demographic that negatively affects the costs of healthcare and health insurance in America!

I hope Hilary gets elected.

So taxpayers can save 23% on paying the presidential salary.

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'Economic Stimulus' payment

Sometime this year, we taxpayers will again receive another 'Economic Stimulus' payment.

This is indeed a very exciting program, and I'll explain it by
using a Q & A format:


Q. What is an 'Economic Stimulus' payment ?

A. It is money that the federal gover...

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Prison vs Work

Prison | Work
:--:|:--:
You spend the majority of your time in an 8X10 cell. | You spend the majority of your time in a 6X8 cubicle.
You get 3 meals a day. | You get a break for one meal and you have to pay for it.
The guard locks and unlock doors for you. | You must carry a card and unl...

A Russian diplomat was visiting Washington DC...

While there, he was invited to a large dinner celebration being held by members of the US government. As he entered the dining hall, he was taken aback by the decor. It was very impressive. Everyone was served fillet mignon. The plates forks and knives were real silver. A small band was playing clas...

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