How many germans does it take to change a lightbulb?

One. They are efficient and lack a sense of humour.

How do Germans with celiac disease greet each other?

Gluten Morgen!

How many germans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One.
We are very effective and don´t have a great sense of humor.

Guten Tag!

I can't tell you what the Germans contributed after WW2 but....

*Jerry can*

If Germans are so efficient and productive, why hasn't Germany built an unsinkable ship yet?

Because why would we waste our time building a ship if nobody has ever sought of it yet?

What do Germans call spoiled children?

Bratwurst.

Two Germans walk into a London pub

Two Germans walk into a London pub

-2 Martinis please.

-Dry?

-Nein! ZWEI!

A French man and a German sit at a bar

The French man says to the German, “In France, we have fun by going to the park, eating bread with cheese, and mocking tourists. What is it that you Germans do for fun?” The German replied, “In Germany we ride the autobahn, visit historical sites, and learn about the world.” “Pah!”, the French man s...

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[Long] It's 1916 and the Germans have developed a new cipher that is proving hard to crack...

A rightfully annoyed British high command therefore advertises the job "military radio decrypter" in all the newspapers across the country and sure enough, some people attempt to apply for the job.

Outside the recruitment office there's a long line of men and women eager to help the war effor...

2 Germans walk into a BAR

it did not end well

Hey Germans! Do you know any English numbers?

Nine...

How do Germans tell if bread is gluten free?

They check the Gluten Tag

Being afraid of Germans makes one a......

Klaustraphobe ?
or a Germophobe.......

As Northern Germans, we really struggle with the six feet distance mandate ...

Hopefully we can go back to our usual 10 feet distance after being vaccinated.

The Germans and Americans were reaching a stalemate in WWI.

In World War I there was trench warfare, and neither the Americans nor the Germans could get the upper hand. They were reaching a stalemate. One day, an American came up with a plan that would win them the war. This private explained his plan to his trench mates, and they figured, "Why not? It's not...

How do Germans make a Panini?

On a Glutenberg Press

Why do germans always carry cheese on them?

Just in käse…

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What did the Germans call Hitler’s dog?

Mein Fluffer

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An old man walks into a bar and orders a beer.....

The bartender notices the guy's head is the size of a cue ball.


"I got to ask, sir," says the bartender. "What happened?"


The old guy sighs and tells him, "My ship was torpedoed by the Germans in WWII. A mermaid rescued me and promised to grant me three wishes. For my first...

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