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How do italians say goodbye?

Pasta La Vista.

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two italians

Two Italians were talking on the bus. One of them says to the other, “Emma comes first, then I come, then two asses they come together, then I come again, then two asses come together once again, then I come again, pee twice, then I come one last’a time.”

Another passenger responds with, “Wel...

What do you call an area with a large amount of poor Italians?

The Spaghetto

Heaven is where the cooks are French, the police are British, the mechanics are German, the lovers are Italian and everything is organized by the Swiss.

Hell is where the cooks are British, the police are ~~German~~ American, the mechanics are French, the lovers are Swiss, and everything is organized by the Italians.

Why are Italians always locked out of their houses when they get home?

Gnocchi

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Dave was getting a haircut prior to a trip to Rome.

He mentioned the trip to the barber, who responded,

“Why would anyone want to go there? It’s crowded and dirty and full of Italians. You’re crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?”

“We’re taking United,” was the reply. “We got a great rate!”

“United!” exclaimed the ...

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Italians have always copied good inventions from other cultures and made them exceptional

Beretta took Walthers's designs and made them sexy

They discovered noodles from china, removed the dog, and created pasta

They stole the idea of arches from the Etruscans and built colosseums and aqueducts

They took the gladius from celt-iberians and conquered the world with it<...

Where do Italians watch food programs?

On the tagliatelle!

The Italians set up two telecommunications networks. They called them Data-1, and..









...Dissa-1

Why are the Italians so good at football?

Because it involves changing sides halfway through.

Why don't Italians like Jehovah's witnesses?

Italians don't like ANY witnesses.

What do Deaf people and Italians have in common?

They both talk with their hands.

Do you know why so many Italians are named Tony?

Because when the immigrated to America, they put stickers on their lapels with To N.Y.

A friend was complaining about Italians. “Damn those Italians and their slanted eyes!”, he said.

I replied, “I think you mean *italics*.

Why cant you trust Italians at an award ceremony?

They've been known to rig a Tony

In the 1930s, the Italians developed an engine fuel technology that used household spices.

It’s true. Mussolini made the trains run on thyme

How did the Euro Cup leave Wembley with the Italians?

Via the South Gate

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Pornhub has announced they will be giving Italians under quarantine due to covid 19 free premium access

Talk about coming together when things get hard.

My father once asked me if I knew the difference between heaven and hell…

“In heaven” he said, “the Italians make the food and the British run the government”

He then paused and said, “In hell, the British make the food and the Italians run the government”

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How Italians talk..

There were three POWs together in a British prison in the Second World War, a German, a Japanese, and an Italian.

The British began by torturing the German. After long hours of silence infected by bloodcurdling screams, he talked, and was sent back to the prison, ashamed. He told the others w...

Why were so many Italians who emigrated to the US named Tony?

They stamped TO NY on their foreheads.

Why don’t Italians use contractions?

Because they don’t make a pasta fee!

Why do brits stir coffee clockwise and italians do it anticlockwise?

To dissolve the sugar

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Two Italians enter the bus in New York and start very noisy conversation:

" .... 'em come first, then I come, two asses together, I come again, two asses together, then I pee, pee again and I come in the end... "

An old lady nereby can't stand it any longer and says:

" You pigs, what a shame to discuss your disgusting sexual life on public!!!! "

Itali...

Why do Italians love soccer?

Because half way through, they get to switch sides.

If Italian food is made by Italians and Indian food by Indians,...

who is making Dog food?

Today I learned Italians have more than 250 specific hand gestures to communicate non-verbally, I asked my German friend if they had anything like it in Germany..

He said they have one but they are not allowed to use it

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An Italian and a Greek are hanging out

An Italian and a Greek are having an argument. Each is trying to one up the other.

Greek: Greeks do everything better than Italians. Did you know that Hawaiian pizza was invented by a Greek.

Italian: Sex too was invented by Greeks, but it was Italians that introduced women to it!

What does a group of Italians say when they start a diet?

Ciao belli

Why do Italians prefer manual cars?

Because their hands need something to do.

It is WWI. The Germans and the Italians are fighting in trenches.

The Germans have a plan. Since almost all Italians are named Mario, a German would yell, "Hey, Mario!" An unfortunate Mario would pop his head up with "si?" and a German sniper would put a bullet into his forehead. Every day, a few Italians died with "Hey Mario!" "Si?" Boom!

One day, the Ital...

Why are there no Italians on r/Jokes

They don't copy pasta

The Italians are fighting Americans in the trenches

An American gets the idea to yell the name Luigi, and being a common Italian name when someone hears their name and looks up, they shoot him.

"Hey, Luigi!"

An Italian looks up and says

"Yeah?"

BANG

After the Americans do this a few times, the Italians try it for th...

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The Greeks vs. The Italians

The Greeks say, “We have the Parthenon.”

The Italians say, “We have the Coliseum.”

The Greeks say, “We had great mathematicians and philosophers.”

The Italians say, “We created a world empire and established Pax Romana.”

And so on and so on for hours, until final...

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