I told my wife she'd trimmed her eye brows too high..

She looked surprised.

Bob, a Neanderthal furniture craftsman, lugs his latest stone creation into Harry’s store.

Harry is the proud owner of Pleistocene Man Home, a thriving home goods and flint cave.

Bob, still breathing heavily from his labor, says to Harry, “Here new chair. Soft slate. No crack. Has club holder.

Harry is impressed. “Good chair! Better than chair you make for Doug”

“W...

I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high

She seemed surprised.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A little old lady gets pulled over for speeding...

The officer walks up to the car and after a quick greeting takes the documentation she has ready for him.
He notices a license to conceal carry a pistol and he asks, “Ma’am do you have a firearm in the vehicle?”
She replies, “Well yes sir, I do.” The officer smiles a little as this lady was no...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Little Johnny came home after playing with his older friends.

His friends kept using adult words and making jokes. Johnny laughed, but he never understood what the words meant. He walks over to his dad and asks: "Dad, what's a hooker?"

The dad, taken slightly aback by the bashful Johnny, decided he did not want Johnny to know that kind of language yet. ...

Came to work today with

drawn mustache...women with drawn brows called me an idiot.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One of my grandfather's favorite jokes; namely because after he told it to me I told it in front of my speech class in high school and he found that to be the funniest thing he ever heard.

One day a good ole country boy went to work in a general store. Things are fine, but after awhile the owner gets called out on an emergency.

The owner tells the good ole boy, "Whenever someone comes in you get them what they want."

So the owner leaves and a man comes in and tells the ...

Blond in a chinese pet store

A blond goes inside a chinese pet store and finds a crowd of people watching an asian person starin at a fish

"Move left"

Said the asian, and the fish move left

"Move right"

Said the asian, and the fish moved right

"Jump"

And the fish jump over the fish tank...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A bartender who just went broke decides to open a medical clinic.

He puts a sign outside the clinic-" I will cure anything for the price of $20, and I'll pay you back $50 if I fail."

A medic thinks that he can outsmart the bartender wants the $50, so he goes to the clinic.

The medic tells the bartender he had lost his sense of taste, to which the bar...

The Wan family is sharing their home and a nice dinner with the Version family when a knock can be heard at the door.

Mr. Wan opens the door to a local police officer.

The officer says, "Good evening sir. We received a report of a mugging in this very neighborhood and are investigating the area to hopefully discover the true story of the event. Mind if I ask a few questions?"

Mr. Wan replies, "Well I...

Two scientists walk into a bar after work...

As they both take their seats at the bar, the first scientist says to the bartender, "I'll have a glass of H2O."

The second scientist shakes his head and says, "I'll have a glass of water too." He then pauses and turns to the first scientist. "Wh... why did you say H2O? I mean, I know that'...

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An American, Japanese, and a Nigerian were sitting naked in the sauna

Suddenly there is a beeping sound. The American presses his forearm and others look at him questioningly. “That’s my pager,” he says. “I have a microchip under the skin of my arm.”


“A few minutes later a phone rings. The Japanese lift his palm to his ear. When he finishes he explains,” t...

Hillbilly tries to get into Heaven

Bubba Buford Cletus Hogg died and went to heaven. When he got to the pearly gates, Saint Peter told him that, because of severe overcrowding, all prospective heavenly souls had to pass an intelligence test to gain admittance. “Are you ready?” St. Peter asked?

Bubba Buford Cletus Hogg shrugge...

Two Elderly Couples Were Having Dinner...

...when one of the men says to the other man of the group, "Hey Stan, tell us about the college course you recently took!" Stan looks up from his dinner and says, "Oh, it was great! It was a memory class to help me to remember things better."


"Did it work?" the other guy asks.

...

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An old man faintly hears "super sex" one evening in his nursing home room.

There was an old man in his nursing home room playing checkers with his roommate. In the distance he hears one of the old lady residents yell.

"super sex!"

His eye brows raise a bit and he looks at his roomie confused. He hears it again, but it is louder this time.

"super sex...

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