It's good to know that in these tough times, there's still someone doing hair, nails, and brows.

The Funeral Director.

Keep going outside for an early appointment.

I told my wife she'd trimmed her eye brows too high..

She looked surprised.

I told the lady at the grocery store that she drew her eyebrows too high.

She seemed surprised.

Eye’m sorry

An eyeball was looking through a movie rental store

A mouth asked him, “Sir, are you going to buy any of these?”

The eyeball replied, “Eye Brows”

A Brow Beating

I told my girlfriend that it looked like she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.

Bob, a Neanderthal furniture craftsman, lugs his latest stone creation into Harry’s store.

Harry is the proud owner of Pleistocene Man Home, a thriving home goods and flint cave.

Bob, still breathing heavily from his labor, says to Harry, “Here new chair. Soft slate. No crack. Has club holder.

Harry is impressed. “Good chair! Better than chair you make for Doug”

“W...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A little old lady gets pulled over for speeding...

The officer walks up to the car and after a quick greeting takes the documentation she has ready for him.
He notices a license to conceal carry a pistol and he asks, “Ma’am do you have a firearm in the vehicle?”
She replies, “Well yes sir, I do.” The officer smiles a little as this lady was no...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Little Johnny came home after playing with his older friends.

His friends kept using adult words and making jokes. Johnny laughed, but he never understood what the words meant. He walks over to his dad and asks: "Dad, what's a hooker?"

The dad, taken slightly aback by the bashful Johnny, decided he did not want Johnny to know that kind of language yet. ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A bartender who just went broke decides to open a medical clinic.

He puts a sign outside the clinic-" I will cure anything for the price of $20, and I'll pay you back $50 if I fail."

A medic thinks that he can outsmart the bartender wants the $50, so he goes to the clinic.

The medic tells the bartender he had lost his sense of taste, to which the bar...

Came to work today with

drawn mustache...women with drawn brows called me an idiot.

Blond in a chinese pet store

A blond goes inside a chinese pet store and finds a crowd of people watching an asian person starin at a fish

"Move left"

Said the asian, and the fish move left

"Move right"

Said the asian, and the fish moved right

"Jump"

And the fish jump over the fish tank...

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One of my grandfather's favorite jokes; namely because after he told it to me I told it in front of my speech class in high school and he found that to be the funniest thing he ever heard.

One day a good ole country boy went to work in a general store. Things are fine, but after awhile the owner gets called out on an emergency.

The owner tells the good ole boy, "Whenever someone comes in you get them what they want."

So the owner leaves and a man comes in and tells the ...

Hillbilly tries to get into Heaven

Bubba Buford Cletus Hogg died and went to heaven. When he got to the pearly gates, Saint Peter told him that, because of severe overcrowding, all prospective heavenly souls had to pass an intelligence test to gain admittance. “Are you ready?” St. Peter asked?

Bubba Buford Cletus Hogg shrugge...

The Wan family is sharing their home and a nice dinner with the Version family when a knock can be heard at the door.

Mr. Wan opens the door to a local police officer.

The officer says, "Good evening sir. We received a report of a mugging in this very neighborhood and are investigating the area to hopefully discover the true story of the event. Mind if I ask a few questions?"

Mr. Wan replies, "Well I...

Two scientists walk into a bar after work...

As they both take their seats at the bar, the first scientist says to the bartender, "I'll have a glass of H2O."

The second scientist shakes his head and says, "I'll have a glass of water too." He then pauses and turns to the first scientist. "Wh... why did you say H2O? I mean, I know that'...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An American, Japanese, and a Nigerian were sitting naked in the sauna

Suddenly there is a beeping sound. The American presses his forearm and others look at him questioningly. “That’s my pager,” he says. “I have a microchip under the skin of my arm.”


“A few minutes later a phone rings. The Japanese lift his palm to his ear. When he finishes he explains,” t...

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