Break Into Jokes - 35 Hilarious Break Into Jokes

Two thieves break into a house. Once inside, they sneak into the master bedroom and tie up the naked woman they find in there.

A startled, naked, man comes out of the bathroom, sees what's happening and says, "Please, please, take whatever you want, I will even give you the combination to my safe. Just, please, untie her and let her go."

The thieves were surprised by how heartfelt the pleas from the man were. One of...

Elmer Fudd and Daffy break into a distillery.

Daffy turns to Elmer and says, “ Is this whiskey?”

Elmer says: “yeah, but not as whiskey as wobbing a bank.”

Why is it hard for a man to break into the adult film industry?

There's a lot of stiff competition.

Two young lads break into a distillery...

One boy says to the other, “is this whiskey?”

The other boy replies, “yes, but not as whiskey as wobbin a bank.”

My friend was telling me about a salmon that could break into safes...

Turned out to be a lox myth.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two thieves break into a man's house...

The man wakes up in the middle of a night and runs down stairs but the thieves escape over the fence so he calls the police. The police get to his house and ask what happened; the mans says: "Well the robbers took off with my personal computer and nothing else before I scared them away", the police ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two men break into the drugstore and steal viagra.

Police are now on the lookout for two hardened criminals.

\-Not my joke

A robber was preparing to break into a butcher's to steal meat.

He decided not to in the end, as the stakes were too high.

2 robbers break into a house

In the house, 4 people live there. A mom, a dad, and 2 kids. When the robbers break in, the parents say to the kids, "stand still, and just do what they tell you to do."

The robber hands the mom a gun, and holds one to her head, and tells her to shoot one of her kids.

She panicks, ta...

As the owner of a start up gin distillery I've been trying to break into the Asian market.

Unfortunately though the Thai tonic mixes very poorly with ice.

How does a bird break into a bird feeder?

With a crowbar

Snoop Dogg and his family break into a house.

They find some nice stuff, including a large flatscreen television, expensive paintings, and countless autographed baseballs signed by any MLB player you could name. Before they can steal anything, the police came and arrested them.

They are in a prison and they are being held at $200,000 bai...

Henry would have recurring nightmares that someone was attempting to break into his house

There was a man named Henry who would having recurring nightmares that someone was attempting to break into his house. While the nightmare would always end with the burglar failing to enter, Henry still feared that this could be an omen. Every morning after checking for signs of a break in and findi...

Poor people break into your house to steal.

Rich people break into your house to gloat.

I used to really want to know how to break into bank safes

It’s not all that it’s cracked up to be

Breaking News: Thieves break into Wig Factory; Steal 500 pounds of hair.

When questioned by the press, the owner said, "When these guys are caught, there's gonna be hell toupee!"

Did you hear about the upcoming chef from Denmark who’s trying to break into comedy?

He’s calling himself the new Dane Cook.

An old man sees two burglars break into his garrage

He quickly calls the police and says:
"Please send a police car, there are two burglars in my garage!"

"I'm sorry sir. We don't have any available units. Please lock your doors and remain inside."

The man just says 'Okay' in a calm voice and hangs up. He waits one minute and then ca...

I often break into song

The keys are so well hidden

Three robbers break into a bank, but when they open the safe, they find only boxes.

One robber opens a box and finds cups full of yogurt. "We didnt find any money, but we got something to eat," he tells his partners. They eat their fill and leave. The next mornings newspaper headline reads, "Worlds Largest Sperm Bank Robbed."

Someone just tried to break into a famous Parks and Rec-inspired restaurant.

They wanted to rob Rob Lowe's low-cal calzone zone.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two criminals break into a drugstore and steal all the Viagra. The store owners call the police and they put out an alert.

An officer in the vicinity turns to his partner and says “Alright, we’re looking for two hardened criminals”

What did the burglar say when he detonated a bomb to break into Fort Knox?

Wow, this blew up! Thanks for the gold.

The police break into Abraham Lincolns house...

When they find him, he says "Don't arrest me, I'm in a cent!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A seer was recruited to help a party of heroes break into a ruined dungeon

The other heroes knew that his knowledge of the arcane would help them to understand and predict the nefarious traps that were sure to beset them within the darkened tunnels.

The dungeon's architect had laid it out as a chess board, and the party moved one by one along the squares. Th...

A guy dressed as a chicken on fire tried to break into my house.

If phoenix anything I'll be mad.

Why did the football coach break into the vending machine?

To get his quarterback.

How can you tell when an alto is trying to break into your house?

They can’t find the key and they don’t know where to come in.

Why is it so easy to break into God’s house?

When God closes a door he opens a window.

I tried to break into the Apple Store but...

...the backdoor was locked and they didn't have any windows

I'd want a burglar to break into my house,

I'll help them look for money.

What do you get when you break into your school to make a heterogeneous mixture?

A suspension

It's crazy to think that people would break into houses by swiping their credit card.

Nowadays, you have to use the chip to break in.

A doctor lacking empathy

"A woman has a serious accident and ends up in the hospital undergoing surgery.

Her husband waits in the waiting room, distraught, when several hours later the surgeon exits the operating room and approaches him.

'Hello, the surgery went well. Unfortunately, the recovery will be very...

Look man, this insane need of yours to break into high-end cooking stores and steal kitchen utensils like this thing you're eyeing, is going to get you thrown back in jail if you're caught! Think of your family, please!

I appreciate the concern, I really do, but that's a whisk I've go to take!

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