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Boundaries Jokes

My daughter thinks I don't respect her personal boundaries

Or at least that's what she wrote in her diary

Just got fired from my job at Google Maps. Apparently I was terrible at drawing the boundaries between countries.

They said I was borderline incompetent.

My wife thinks I don't respect her boundaries

I was so shocked, I didn't want to read her diary anymore.

I'm a man that knows my boundaries.

5 feet by 9 feet , unless the guards let me have a walk around.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man and woman are in a new relationship discussing boundaries

The man says: So... What about sex? Is that on the table?

The woman says: no its in the bed

International Boundaries

An Englishman, lecturing on his travels, was speaking disparagingly about the Scots and French in Canada, and how they intermarried with the Indians. "You'll find," he said "quite a number of Scot & French half-breeds, but you will not find any English half-breeds."

A Scot in the audience...

There was a cartographer that groped his coworker

No sense of boundaries

This weirdo in the bathroom tried talking to me while I was on the toilet.

Just because the stall door is open doesn’t mean I’m here to chat. Jeez, have some boundaries dude.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Royal Union 2

Once upon a time, the royals of two neighbouring kingdoms decided to cement their friendship and their boundaries by marrying one's princess to the other's prince.

The youngsters were introduced to each other and, as luck would have it, they fell in love. The prince's father, however, wanted ...

My neighbor says that I have a problem with knowing my boundaries.

At least that’s what her diary says.

(popular indian Joke) Why doesnt china have a cricket team?

They eat bats and don't understand the concept of boundaries..

Why did the narcissist cross the road?

They thought that was your boundaries

If you can’t handle me at my worst...

Then good for you; I commend and respect you for setting healthy boundaries.

The first/ last joke my third grader got to tell before quarantine

I set up a joke minute for of my 3rd graders as a way of helping him create healthy boundaries to meet his needs (attention), and this is the first one he got to tell. As far as I know, he made it up himself:

You know when you're at a restaurant, and the waiter is taking forever and ever? W...

The thing I love most about dad jokes...

...is how they keep pushing the boundaries of humour father and father.

What's the darkest joke you know?

I've always been a fan or dark humor, so, what's the darkest joke you know. no boundaries, no getting offended. please don't downvote anyone because you find it offensive, that's life, get over it.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Bunk bed

A Boyfriend texts his Girlfriend saying "Hey babe you wanna come over and have sex?" Girlfriend texts back "Duh!" So the girl goes over her Boyfriends house, and right before they get into it, he sets the boundaries. "Ok, so my little brother is home, and I have bunk beds. He's on the bottom bunk....

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Pope visits Alabama and sees two white guys pulling a black guy out of a river on a rope.

The pope orders the pope-mobile to stop and he gets out to praise the two guys for such an act of kindness and for breaking down racial boundaries in this modern society. He blesses the two men and says he will see them in heaven.
 

Cletus turns to Bobby Joe and asks *“who the fu...

What do Joe Biden and Russia have in common?

Neither of them respect boundaries.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The strange painting

John and Michelle are out on a date at an art gallery. They're walking around, looking at art, discussing the paintings, and generally having a good time. Eventually they come across a very strange painting that they can't seem to make heads or tails of. It's a large canvas called "Home for Lunch," ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My Chinese Wife: Lost in Translate

This isn't a joke, but a true story and a lesson for those who dare tackle racial boundaries. I spent a couple years living in China (I have no Chinese heritage whatsoever), where I met my wife, who speaks Mandarin & some English as a 2nd language. Her English is good, but she struggles with s...

Clergy with terrible, terrible habits.

A Catholic priest, a Methodist pastor, a Baptist minister, and an Episcopalian rector were attending an ecumenical conference. After the conferences were done and they had supper, they were relaxing in the hotel restaurant, talking.

The Catholic priest said, "You know, it's great to get to k...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy is shipwrecked with Emma Watson

Eventually they become rather intimate. Repeatedly.

After six months, Emma says, “I am so grateful for everything you’ve done, I want to make you happy. Whatever you want to do, let’s do it. No judgements. No boundaries.”

The guy thinks about it for a minute and replies, “Here. Take t...

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