This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man sees a priest buying hard liquor on a Sunday...

A man sees a priest buying hard liquor on a Sunday at a shop down the street from the church the priest pastors. Surprised, the man, who went to that church, asked why he was buying Jagermeister.

The priest said, "it's an old secret that Jagermeister helps constipation, which one of the nuns...

A friend of mine suggested I stop drinking beer and drink hard liquor to lose weight

figured it was worth a shot, so I bought two

There are three girls,

and their boyfriends all have the same name. So in order to keep them from getting confused, they decide to give their boyfriends nicknames. They ask the first girl what she calls her boyfriend. She says, “I call my man 7-Up.”
They ask her, “Why do you call your man that?”
And she says, “Becau...

What do you call mixing coffee and hard liquor?

Getting ready for work.

Soda Pop Boyfriends

At their ten year high school reunion, Mary is seated with her old friend Jane.  Mary tells Jane about her husband who she has been with since high school.  Jane tells Mary that she never did marry but had plenty of boy friends and that she always named the boy friends after soda pops.  Really a...

A 6-year-old walks into a bar...

The bartender tells says they don't serve minors as all they have are hard liquors. The child says he wants two whiskies then a malt. The bartender says that he needs to see ID. The child shows an ID from another country, claiming he is 95 years old. The bartender gives the child the ID back and ask...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Will I Live to see 80?

Will I Live to see 80?

Here's something to think about.

I recently picked a new primary care doctor. After two visits and exhaustive Lab tests, He
said I was doing fairly well for my age.

A little concerned about that comment, I could not resist asking him, 'Do you think ...

Three ladies were enjoying wine spritzers, when one suggested they play a game!

She proposed each wife describe which Soda Pop best described their husband in bed?

The First Lady said “my husband is Dr.Pepper, because every night he’s peppy”!

They all giggled!

The second lady said “my husband is 7UP, cause he can get it up 7 days a week”!

The ladie...

I asked a group of women to describe their husbands using a soft drink [possibly NSFW]

The first said, "Mtn Dew, because he's always ready to mount 'n' do me"

The second said, "7up, because it may only be seven inches but it's always up"

The third said, "Jack Daniels"
I said, "But that's a hard liquor"
She relied, "Yes, and so is he"

Three bestfriends are all dating men with the same name...

They got confused all the time about which boyfriend they were talking about, so one day they decided to make up some nicknames, one girl was drinking some pop and said "hey, let's name them after pop?", they reply with "sure"
First girl goes and says "I'm going to name mine Mountain Dew cause he...

Three wives were talking to each other about their husbands and comparing them to drinks.

The first said, "My husband is like 7-Up. Because he's got 7 inches, and it's always up."

The second said, "Well my husband is like Mountain Dew. Because when he gets home from work, he likes to 'mount and do' me."

The third says, "My husband is like Jack Daniels."

The first r...

If my man were a soda...

Three married black women are talking about their love lives with their husbands. They decide to assign each of their men a soda that represents them. The first lady says, "I'd call my man seven-up. 'Cause he's got seven inches and they're always up, up, up."
The second says, "I'd call my man Mo...

Three women are at a restaurant getting lunch.

They all date men named Jeff, by coincidence, and they always get confused when they talk about their boyfriends.

One of the women says to the others, "Why don't we give our boyfriends nicknames so we can tell them apart?"

The second woman, takes a drink of her soda and says, "Why don'...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman asks her most understanding friend for advice before her date.

Her friend asks what she thinks the problem in her love life is.

"Well, they tend to leave as soon as I start talking about politics. It's a part of my identity and I just can't help it."

The friend advises her to say everything in her head and judge whether it's political before sayin...

My Last 3 Boyfriends gossip

Two female co-workers are chatting it up, and they are discussing the boyfriends they've had in the last year.


One girl says "The last 3 boyfriends I've had, I've named after soda pops. The first one I called 7 Up, because he had 7 inches and he knew how to keep it up.


The se...

Three old ladies are discussing their husbands while having tea.

Three old ladies are out for tea and discussing their husbands performance in the sack.
They decide to have some fun and describe their husbands as soda pops.
The first lady says "my husband is probably Mountain Dew. Because when im ready to mount. Hes ready to do"
The second lady says, st...

A scientist is driving around the countryside looking for elderly test subjects to measure how people live longer.

She comes across a dilapidated cabin with a very old and worn-out man sitting in the rocking chair on his front porch.

The scientist approaches the man and says “pardon me, sir, but what’s your secret to long life?”

The man says “I smoke two packs of cigarettes a day, drink chocolate m...

The night before the wedding

The bride-to-be and her bridesmaids were giggling over tequila and strawberry daiquiris at the bachelorette party. The maid of honor started a game of truth or dare.

"If your boyfriend were a soda, what would he be?" she slurred at the other bridesmaid.

"7-Up, because he's got seven in...

Nicknames

Three woman who were good friends would meet at the laundromat once a week to talk while washing their clothes. All of the woman were dating men named john, so one week they decided to make up nicknames to call their men so that they could tell them apart.

One of the women says, "let's name o...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Depressed Man Walks Into a Bar...

He takes a seat and asks the bartender for 3 glass of vodka. The bartender curious of why the hard liquor asks, "Wow you must have had a really bad day, what happen?" The man replies, "I just found out that my youngest son is gay." He then quickly finishes his drinks and walks out. The next day he r...

3 Women are Talking About Their Husbands

But since all of their husbands are named Bubba, they are getting confused about which one they are referring to...

So they decide to give each of their husbands a nickname based on a soft drink.

After a couple of seconds, the first woman says that she wants to refer to her husband as ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy asks a doctor how long he will live

So the doctor, looking at his clipboard and taking notes, begins to ask him a series of questions.

Doc: Do you eat red meat?

Patient: No

Doc: Do you smoke cigarettes, cigars, or a pipe?

Patient: No

Doc: Do you use any illicit drugs?

Patient: No

Doc: D...

3 women where having a coffee and some girl talk

One of them goes:

"Girls, if you're man was to be compared to a soda brand, what would it be? Mine would be 7UP, because he's 7 hard inches, always up"

"Well mine would be Mountain Dew since he likes to mount and do me everyday." says the second.

The last one ponders for a secon...

When I was young my dad told me "Anything easy in life isn't worth doing"..

That's why I only drink Hard liquor.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.