This joke may contain profanity. πŸ€”

Non-alcoholic drinks....

It’s like licking your sisters pussy. It tastes the same but it’s just not right.

A desperate alcoholic drinks varnish...

Sadly, he comes to a terrible end..... but a beautiful finish!

This joke may contain profanity. πŸ€”

Did you know that prostitutes at the Moulin Rouge used strong alcoholic drinks to bleach their hair?

Absinthe makes the tart grow blonder.

I'm in desparate need of an alcoholic drink.

Well, I don't really need to worry, then; I've just come to the punch line.

What is the most Canadian non-alcoholic drink?

American beer.

What is trump's favorite alcoholic drink?

White Russian

This joke may contain profanity. πŸ€”

A range of alcoholic drinks is being produced named after famous authors

.... Dickens Cider is proving very popular

I saw a clown drinking an alcoholic drink while doing death defying stunts.

I told him, "That's whiskey."

Two chemists walk into a bar. One of them orders an alcoholic drink. The other says "I'll have double of what he has."

He died of butanol poisoning.

What do you call a tavern that only serves non-alcoholic drinks?

A pro-teen bar

This joke may contain profanity. πŸ€”

A man gets pulled over for swerving

Officer says, "sir do you know why I pulled you over?"

*"I have no clue". The man replied.*

"Have you been drinking, sir?"

*"Not any alcoholic drinks, officer".*

"Then what is that in your cup holder?"

"*that's a half-drank Smirnoff Ice.*"

"I thought you sai...

This joke may contain profanity. πŸ€”

A Muslim, a Christian and a Jew walk into a bar

A Muslim, a Christian and a Jew walk into a bar. The barman looks up at them and says they only have alcoholic drinks today.

"Then I shall have to leave," States the Muslim "I am not allowed to drink alcohol due to my religion."

"I shall also have to leave," Says the Christian "I am of...

This joke may contain profanity. πŸ€”

Three guys die and go to hell [LONG]

Satan meets them for orientation. He asks the first one "What was your favorite sin in life?" He replies "It would have to be booze, I stayed drunk all the time." So Satan leads him to a door and opens it to reveal a giant room containing acres of every type of alcoholic drink imaginable; beers, ...

This joke may contain profanity. πŸ€”

A man dies and finds himself in Hell.

He is greeted by Satan.

Satan: Welcome to Hell! Hey, why do you look so glum?

Man: Why do you think I look so glum? I'm in HELL! Isn't it eternal torture?

Satan: Nah, you've got us all wrong. Hell is pretty okay. When you were alive, did you drink?

Man: Yeah, I drank way ...

This joke may contain profanity. πŸ€”

Three couples are waiting to enter the Pearly Gates.

St. Peter tells them, "I can tell how a man lived his life based upon the name of his wife. First couple, please step forward."

So, the first couple steps forward and St. Peter asks the guy, "What is your wife's name?" The guy says, "Her name is Penny."

St. Peter gives a disapproving...

The captured explorer...

There was once an intrepid explorer called Eric, he was wandering in a hitherto unknown part of Africa. One day in the jungle, his guides are ambushed and killed with poison darts. Eric is the only one taken alive and he is bound and gagged. They drag him back to their village and present him to the...

Bacon and eggs walk into a bar

Bacon and eggs walks into a bar and they order some beers. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve breakfast here."

A beer walks into a breakfast place and orders bacon and eggs. The server says, "Sorry we don't serve alcoholic drinks here"

A bartender runs into bacon and eggs and o...

This joke may contain profanity. πŸ€”

Based on a true story (programming, walks into a bar)

Two programmers walk into a bar. The Python programmer orders an orange juice. The C programmer gets a look of disgust and says "You're in a bar! You should order an alcoholic drink!" The Python programmer gets his juice, pulls out his wallet, and pays for his drink. The C programmer tells the barte...

This joke may contain profanity. πŸ€”

An alcoholic, a smoker and a ninfomaniac go to hell

The devil welcomes them and tells them to follow him, he opened a door to a room full of all kinds of alcoholic drinks and shouts "the drunk guy! Here" and locks him in the room, next door, a room full of hot women "the ninfomaniac! You go here" he gets to the final door and as espected it is a room...

This joke may contain profanity. πŸ€”

an illustrious lawyer dies and goes to hell...

... where he is greeted by the devil who says, "i have claimed your soul as one of the forsaken. for all of eternity, you will serve as my aide." this suited the lawyer's taste and so he handled clerical and correctional duties on behalf of the devil. for his first assignment, the devil takes him to...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.